Hard to Love

Chapter 12 - Jack's Wife Freda

"That was way too close."

Olivia and I laugh and clink glasses, tossing back our fizzy mimosas. I love mimosas because I can get drunk off of them so easily. And they also taste good too, so I don't have to make a face with every sip. Plus, it's socially acceptable to get day-drunk off of mimosas. We've come so far.

We had a brunch reservation at Jacks Wife Freda this morning. We were supposed to be there at 9am sharp, but because both of us were chronically late people, we were this close to losing the table. We had only a 15 minute window to be make it in time, so it was thanks to the last minute Uber and Olivia's quick 100 yard sprint that we managed to snag the table.

I take a bite of my waffle, making sure to pile a heaping portion of whipped cream to its textured surface. Mmm. So freaking good. I let the notes of the honey syrup and Lebanese yogurt wash over me.

"So?" Olivia beams at me. "Tell me everything. I wanna know."

Straight the point. Of course.

There's a beat of silence before I answer. "It was... okay?" I squeak. "I don't really know how to describe it. Honestly, it went pretty much like the first date. Nothing happened."

"Wait wait wait, back it up. Did he try to make a move?" she asks in disbelief.

She's about to be disappointed. "I don't know. Maybe?" I heave a sigh.

"What do you mean, maybe? It's a yes or no question," she says, pointedly.

"Okay, then no." I pause. "Or maybe yes. I don't know. But I felt something." I swallow hard.

"Did he go in for a kiss?"

I shake my head.

"Did he, like, try anything?"

I shake my head again.

She clicks her tongue. "I don't get it."

I let out a quiet chuckle. "I don't get it either."

"Do you like him though?"

"I mean, yeah, I went on two dates with him. I wouldn't have gone otherwise."

"But he didn't make a move."

"Well... we had this weird thing at the end. He walked me back to my place. And it seemed like he wanted to come up...?" Oh god. I sound so stupid.

Olivia laughs. "Honestly, he probably did. But it's good that you didn't."

What? I furrow my eyebrows, thinking back to what I had seen on my Reddit searches last night. That doesn't make sense. "Is this because of some kind of three date rule thing?" I ask.

She looks at me with a funny expression.

"Is that actually a thing?"

She pauses, choosing her words carefully. "Not really, not all the time. But you can kind of expect it to happen."

I bury my face in my hands.

"Honestly, don't worry," she laughs. "You're thinking too much."

"It's all that I can think about!" I retort, waving my hands animatedly.

We laugh. She has no idea.

"Let's go out next weekend."

"Uh, what?" I take a sip of my mimosa, which has warmed to a lukewarm temperature by now.

"Tritonal's performing at Lavo next weekend," she says, in her usual assertive tone. "I can probably get us in. My friend knows a promoter." She looks at me expectantly. "We should go. It'll help you relax. Loosen up. You know."

I perk up. Huh. That was actually a pretty good sounding idea. I could go, make out with random guys, fool around for a bit, maybe even go home with someone. Nobody would know who I was. Nobody would care.

"And honestly, don't worry too much. Let's just go and have a good time." She shoots me a knowing look.

"I'm game," I nod enthusiastically. "Plus, none of the guys ever want to go clubbing. We always go to bars."

"Forreal."

"Like, I wanna dance. Not stand around all night."

I shift against the back of my seat, thinking. Maybe this would be good for me. Maybe if I made out with ten guys in one night, I wouldn't make a big deal out of making out with one. And maybe going home with him. What was one kiss out of a hundred others?

"And I was thinking, we could go to Mission after too," Olivia continues.

"Mission?"

"Yeah, it's an Asian club. It's huge here. I heard it's really fun."

"Oh that cool. I'm in," I reply, casually. "Do we have enough time though?"

"Oh yeah, we can dip after Tritonal. Mission is basically open the entire night. We could stay out until 6am if we really wanted to."

"Holy shit!" I laugh. "Is this what New York nightlife is really like?"

An Asian club. That would be cool. And knowing how Asian clubs go, this place would probably be really ratchet. Perfect for what I wanted to do. You could say that I was only going to use these guys, but isn't that the same reason guys go to clubs in the first place?

"Cool, let me text my friend now so we can coordinate." Olivia grabs her phone from the table and fires off a quick message. "She knows a promoter, so hopefully he can get all of us in. And we can go with her group."

"Damn. So well connected."

"Yeah, you're a girl and you're in New York," she smirks. "What do you expect? Do you ever pay for anything?"

I'm silent for a moment, impressed. A free concert. Plus access to a bunch of hot guys that I could make out with and never see again. Anonymity. That was what I needed. At a club no one could judge me. No one knew would know who I was. No one would know that I was a virgin.

I clench my palms and squeeze my fingers together. Maybe next week it could finally happen. I could already see it. Sloppy grinding. A sweaty kiss. Maybe even a heavy butt grab or two. I'm already getting a hot flash. I can't believe I'm even thinking about that.

"Can we pre beforehand?" I ask. I'm going to need to alcohol. The liquid courage. There was no way I was going to be able to do all that without.

"No need," she replies, smugly. "The promoter's got it covered. We're going to have a table."

I raise my eyebrows. Damn. So that's what it's going to be.

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