Bad Romance

1

"Mae, you need to start getting ready." Mark, my tour manager says to me as he walks onto the bus.

"I can't get ready with you here, now, can I?"

"Just be ready in twenty minutes." He grumbled as he walked off the bus.

I threw down my phone and let out a loud sigh, walking over to my luggage to see what I was gonna wear for tonight's show, even though I had mostly worn everything in here already. I looked through it some more and finally had found an unworn outfit, I quickly threw it on and did some slight makeup, slid on my platform boots and rushed out the tour bus.

I really didn't feel like doing a show tonight. I didn't feel like doing anything. I just wanted to be home in my bed, watching stupid lifetime movies. But instead, I was in Jersey, performing a sold-out show. I chose this life; I should be grateful right now. But my selfishness was taking over.

I walked into the venue through the back and was greeted by the group who had come along with me for the tour. Kai, Aaron, Aria, Jax and Angus. Kai and Aaron were a part of my band, I've only known them for two years now and Kai just had to bring along his girlfriend whom I've met when we first started tour and already can't stand. As for Jax and Angus, I've known Angus for ten years and Jax for five.

These were really the only friends I had, I'm not really friends with a lot of people in the industry...

"You ready for tonight?" Jax approached me, "Don't think I'm capable of performing and a meet and greet afterwards but I'll try." I sigh.

"What's wrong? You tired or something?"

"I guess."

"You want an adderall?" Angus looked up at me from the couch, "She doesn't want a fucking adderall!" Jax spat.

"Who the fuck are you talking to?" Angus got up from the couch, walking over to me and Jax.

"Can y'all stop?" I pushed between them, "Give me the adderall.."

He handed it to me, and I swallowed it before grabbing my mic and walking onto the stage as the DJ introduced me. The bright lights hit my face and the sweat already had started to trickle down my forehead, I smiled out to the crowd and interacted with them as much as possible before I started singing.

"And when I cry, I don't know why. It's something inside eating me alive."

I couldn't even get past the first verse; a numbness was taking over my body. I started to mumble the words, eventually turning my back towards the crowd, ashamed. I am a complete mess; I couldn't do this.

"Mae, what's wrong?" Gio, my manager and dad away from home ran over to me.

Before I could even answer I felt the sensation to throw up, I ran over to the trash can and everything that I had eaten within the last couple hours spilt out into the can. I sank to the floor as I felt somebody holding my hair back, I finished and wiped my mouth.

"Are you good?" Jax says letting go of my hair, I turned to him and look at him and he was giving me a look, I hated being vulnerable like this.

"I'm fine." I wave them off, "Fine isn't throwing up in the middle of a performance." Gio scolds.

"It's the damn adderall!" Jax smacks his teeth, "Adderall? Who the hell gave you adderall?!" Gio yells at me.

"Angus! I told him not t-" Jax started.

"Oh my god, it's not his fault. It's just adderall."

"You know you're not supposed to be taking any type of drug other than your medicine prescribed by your doctor." Gio scolded me once again, "Take this." He pushes a water bottle in my face.