CONDEMNATION ✓

Chapter 76

That was a week and a half ago. God, it felt like yesterday. You could feel Seojoon's blood on your skin. Being completely covered in life-giving blood was anything but spiritual, it was ritualistic and demonic. You wouldn't have witnessed something as gruesome as thought even in the Satanic Church. Your once vibrant electric blue hair was now faded and stained. The ends now a smokey purple - a stain of a reminder of that night. You didn't waste away in your room long after that night though. Too much weakness had already been shown and you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of watching you crush under his will. Plus, who was going to admit what had really happened that night...

Despite your courage of exciting your room and roaming about the lavish boarded-up mansion they all were swatting in, you denied missions. Though, there was a knowing look in everyone's eyes when they would come to offer me an assignment. Perhaps they were relieved you were refusing, get the weakest link out. Or had they assumed what had happened to you - maybe they knew? No... R's not that vein.

Your bare feet carried you into the kitchen. The cuff of your white sweats craping your ankles while your baggy black t-shirt hugs loose around your waist. You looked pale and grey. Your skin no longer had a glow. It was like someone drained the life out of you with a faucet tap. You wanted to pretend that you were doing a good job of hiding the fact that you were losing yourself. You didn't want them to know the shame you felt that night. You didn't want pity or compassion. You wanted to be seen just how you were before but, that wasn't you anymore was it? That night chanced your life indefinitely.

You slugged yourself over to the counter and reached out for the coffee pot, lifting the lid you tossed in a simply self-serving pod and placed a nearby clean mug under the spout. Your hands slapped atop the counter, fingers spreading out like roots on the cool marble surface.

"Y/N..." A gentle voice called out into the silence of the room. No matter how soft they tried to make their voice it came to your ears like a booming drum that shook your core.

Quickly you jerked around in shock as you tried to face the voice before it could get closer. Protection! You had to protect yourself! Your fingers began to crawl across the counter behind you, trying not to be suspicious as you moved slowly. Your fingers trembled. "Woah!" The haze figure quickly tossed his hands up in surrender. You couldn't see him clearly, not that first. Your over-grown bangs hung in your eyes and fear blurred your vision. "It's me!" They shouted soon after. "Jungkook!"

"B..." You choked out. Your eyes began to flutter quickly and your muscles loosened from their shock. You were trying to piece yourself back together as quickly as possible, embarrassing for anyone to see you act like that. You were being paranoid. "Yeah. Yeah..." You muttered, slapping your hand over your eyes and you corrected your posture. "Baby boy." With a deep breath, you held it in your lungs for a long moment before breathing out slowly.

"You scared me!" Quickly you interrupted. Taking another quick breath that fueled your forced laughter. "Don't you know never to scare a woman around knives?" You waved your hand in the air at him in a scuff, shrugging off the whole ordeal as if he hadn't almost caused you to piss yourself in the kitchen. Maybe you could fool Jungkook's youthful heart with white lies but, the added awkward silence that followed didn't serve in your favor.

You turned away from him, returning to your task of getting another cup of coffee. How many had that been today? You lost count, just like you lost count on the last time you slept more than two hours at a time if you were lucky. That night lingered on you like a cloak. You couldn't escape it's memory awake or sleep. Not even liquor helped the Sand-Man be any sweeter. You just decided that being awake and scared was better than asleep and absolutely terrified.

Reaching for the jar of sugar you dragged it close to your freshly brewed cup. It's steam drifting up and brushing against your face with its heat - internally you wished it was purifying you. Nothing could ever really do that. You dumped more than a few heavy spoonfuls of sugar into your coffee and reached for the creaming off in the corner. Light and sweet, just how you liked it.

"Y/N, Can we talk?" Jungkook questioned meekly, remaining still behind you. He knew he needed to give you plenty of space, and he didn't fight that. Despite all he had been through, Jungkook remained honest. He didn't take jobs that forced him to lie. He was always back up for someone else or driving the car most of the time. You never saw him participate in any of the murders, he didn't shed a single soul's blood. Why was he even here?

"Sorry, Baby boy." Raising your right hand you waved it beside your head, grabbing your coffee mug in your other palm. Once again you wanted to dismiss the situation and scram. That soft spot in your heart - it was still there. It was that purity that just made you want to listen, but you couldn't handle that now. Not mentally. You were damaged - what seemed like - beyond repair. "I'm busy today."

"Y/N, Please..." His voice lowered even further, offering an almost child-life whine to his words as he pleaded.

"I'm fine!" Turning to your side you began to head to the archway leading out of the kitchen, your strides a bit heavier now as you tried to get your point across more quickly.

"I've seen enough around here to know you're anything but!" He raised his voice, but he didn't yell. He was crying out to you. "And it's okay that you're not okay..." Once again he softened his smooth deep tone. This time he held less restrain, his orders seemed to fly more cleaner. "I'm not asking you to let him help fix whatever is wrong. I'm asking you to let me be there with you so you don't have to be alone through it." You could hear him shuffling his frame behind you as you remained frozen in the archway of the kitchen. "I don't want to lose any more friends, Y/N..."