Here I am in my room. It's quite comfy and the perfect size to fit a desk and a queen size bed. My parents told me that if they didn't see me downstairs "socializing", they will make me pay rent for my room. The thing is, my room is the only place where I feel safe and comfortable.
Whenever I go downstairs, I have to listen to my two-year-old twin sisters cry for absolutely no reason. The five-year-old and ten-year-old play videogames like there is no tomorrow. And my parents? Well they own a business that requires their attention 24/7. You'd think they'd have some priorities, but no.
Julia and Caroline, the twins, need attention at all times, which makes it hard for me to focus on my education. Since my parents are away until 2am most nights, I'm required to babysit. I have to feed and look after my siblings and simultaneously check over Peter' homework and Ben's pre-school exercises. Being the oldest of five isn't something I would of wished for.
It was late January and the air was icy. I looked out the window at the school bus filling itself with children of all ages. Our school starts at 8 and ends at 3, but I have to stay until 5 every day for my varsity practice.
"I can't believe you didn't do the dishes this morning, its your only chore," my stepdad commented angrily as we drove past the empty houses. I didn't do the dishes because last week, they had told me that I'm too noisy and I would wake the babies up.
"Well, last week you told me to do it when I get home," I said with a little attitude in my voice. His face got angry very quickly and I knew what was coming.
You see, my house is full of stress. Workers piss my parents off daily and then they come home and fight with each other in front of the children. Last night, my mom came home at 1am crying, followed by my stepdad's yells. I did the usual and tried to fall asleep with their screams as my lullaby.
"You asshole! We never said that. Now your mom will have to do the dishes and she has enough in her hands already!" I always thought he had anger issues. Always yelling and calling me names that a "father" should not be calling his children.
"Look, you told me not to do it because I'm too noisy in the morning. Mom needs to sleep, so I cant wake the twins up," my voice was getting shaky at the sight of his jaw tensioning.
He stopped the car in the middle of the road and grabbed my arm, "Now you listen to me, girl, if your attitude doesn't stop right now, I will kick your ass so hard," Peter was watching from the back seat. My eyes started to water. They always change their rules and don't even realize it. And of course, it is then my fault. Duh.
"YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING DISSAPOINTMENT TO THIS FAMILY. YOU CANT EVEN DO THE FUCKING DISHES!" He let me go and started the car again. He drove way too fast for the icy road and I thought he wanted to kill us.
"Why are you even getting so angry at me? Its just the dishes and there is no need to tell me what a disappointment I am. I already know!"
"GOOD! I'm glad you know that we are ashamed of you and all you do," he wasn't keeping his eyes on the road, "Now speak to me one more time and I will kill you."
I'm not sure if he meant it, but I wasn't going to test it. I looked out the window at the white trees. I know I'm a disappointment to the family, I've felt this was for at least 8 years since he and mom started dating. Ever since, there has been an empty feeling in my heart, and that hasn't made my teenage years any easier. You would love the story of when I told them what I've been hiding for years.
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Thank you for reading! I will be uploading a new chapter every week!
