My Journey - Being True To Myself

Understanding Me: Part 1

I remember only few memories of my childhood but as back as i can remember i was a simple kid just like everyone else. In fact, i was a little shy, introvert as well. I was like a cat, maintained a distance from strangers and took a lot of time to familiarise with them.
My childhood went great, with a loving family and good friends. I was also a good student, even had a crush on a teacher and a female one at that.
Then my life took a turn don't know for a good or worse, but it took a turn. My father got transferred and since our grandma could not come and pick me up from school as she was getting old, we decided to change our school to one with bus service.
My old school was small but the new school was very big and had so many students that for introverts like me it was a nightmare. But the kids in my class were very friendly they took me in on the first day mainly because i looked like a little puppy lost in the street.
As i spent my life in new school and became a teenager, i was just like everyone else, except for one glaring difference, while my friends love to talk about girls i was the only one who didn't have any interest in it. Other things were much more interesting to me, like games etc.
Then one time i remember watching TV and when i was changing channels when a channel with Hollywood movies came up. The movie that was shown was 'Twilight'. That movie became my favourite, i loved the vampire theme and romance as well. From that day on i would always watch that channel just so that i could watch Twilight again.
Back at the time, phones were not as popular in kids as TV were and add strict parents to that. So the only time i had for entertainment was TV. So in my free time I would always turn on that 'hollywood films channel'.
One day i discovered that Twilight had a sequel known as "Twilight Saga: New Moon". That film showed me something about myself that changed my life.
When watching Twilight, suddenly i realised that when Jacob took off his shirt, he was looking good. I wanted to watch his scenes more, preferably with no shirt. That day after watching the movie i was a little bit confused but still i didn't give it that much focus. That night i had a wet dream about Shirtless Jacob.
Then a few days later the movie was again playing and a huge #NoshirtJacob fan i watched it again. But this time i noticed a lot more people joining Noshirt club, and i didn't mind it. After watching that movie i was sure that i liked those men with no shirts but i was confused why?
So i secretly took my grandpa's phone and searched for why am i interested in boys rather than girls, and the answer it gave me that i might be gay. That started a huge cycle of searching who, what, how, why and a couple of Am I Gay Quiz that always came 60-90% gay, unless i intentionally tried to make myself straight. Then to make myself sure that i am truly