Losing Control

Chapter 3 - Eirrene

Nabitawan ko ang aking lapis na kagat kagat ng malakas na sumara ang main door. Lumabas ako ng aking kwarto at sinilip kung sino and padabog na nagsara ng pintuan.

It was Cronus, he is currently walking up the stairs holding his sports bag. Napaurong ako sa sulok ng hagdan ng dumaan sya. He didn't smile at me, not even a nod. Nagtuloy tuloy lang sya sa kwarto nya.

Lumapit ako sa pintuan nya at sumandal ng bahagya sa hamba ng kanyang pinto. Half of his body is lying on the bed with his feet flat on the ground, spreading his arms wide on the bed.

"Hi." umimik na ako pagkatapos ng ilang sandali. "Tired?"

Itinaas nya ng bahagya ang kanyang ulo at bahagyang umiling.

"Start of the season, fighting the urge to fuck someone."

He then dropped his head on the bed with a deep sigh. Napaatras ako ng bahagya ng dahil sa sinabi nya. He did mention na kapag start na ng season ay iniiwasan nya talaga ang makipag intercourse, he also said na hindi naman daw ito inimpose ng team coach nila pinili nya na gawin ito. To reserve his energy and be able to play the game 120%.

Napatango nalang ako at tahimik syang iniwan sa kanyang kwarto. I also went down para makapagsimula ng magluto ng dinner. Kasi I'd rather eat home cooked food kesa bumili sa fast food, which is inagreehan naman ni Cronus. We would pot in for the weekly food allowance and buy fresh meats and veggies.

Bago pa man ako matapos magluto ay bumaba na si Cronus, wearing nothing on top and a volleyball jersey shorts. He was drying his hair with a towel na isinukbit din naman nya sa kanyang magkabilang balikat. Sinimulan na nya na maghain sa lamesa.

It became our usual routine everyday, when he gets home magluluto ako habang sya naman ay naliligo. During dinner naman ay bibihira kaming mag-usap he is usually watching the tv about, obviously, volleyball. Habang ako ay nag koconcenrate sa pagkain. After dinner he would insist on doing the dishes.

Then after dinner ay lalabas na sya and an hour later ay umuuwi itong may kasamang babae. I roll my eyes at that thought, buti nalang ay di nya naiisipang iuwi ang babae nya at dito pakainin ng dinner.

"Bakit naman napapairap ka dyan."

Bahagya akong nagulat ng kausapin nya ako. Napatingin ako sa niluluto ko at pinatay ang stove pagkatapos.

"Wala yon, may bigla lang akong naisip." Natawa ako ng bahagya at medyo nahiya. "Ready na yung dinner, upo ka na."

With that ay nagsimula na kaming kumain.

"So tell me how long do you plan on staying here?"

Nagulat ako ng mag-initiate sya ng conversation. Nasamid ako sa tanong na iyon kaya naman inabutan nya ako ng tubig.

"Bakit pinapaalis mo na ba ako?"

Tumawa ako bahagya na may kasamang kaba.

"No, silly! I was just asking."

I was stoned in my seat when he chuckled, that sexy laugh caught me off-guard. Natense naman ako ng kung kaya't napaiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya.

"Uhhhm ano sana..."

Di ko napigilan ang sarili kong hawiin ang buhok papunta sa likod ng tenga. Ganito ang mannerism ko pag humihingi ng favor or nahihiyang magsabi.

"Don't think too much, di naman kita papalayasin once I graduated."

"Kasi ano, since third year naman na ako balak ko sanang makapagtapos tsaka maipasa yung board exam bago ako umuwi saamin."

Tumango tango sya bilang sagot sa akin. After dinner ay sya na ang naghugas habang ako naman ang nag ligpit ng dinning table.

Umakyat ako sandali at binitbit ang mga gawaing dapat ng ipasa. Pagbaba kong muli ay nakaupo na si Cronus sa sofa at prenteng nanonood ng tv. If not about volleyball, about naman sa cases. Napailing na dumiretso na ako sa dining table, this has been my territory since I moved in. And thank God at hindi dinadala ni Cronus ang dirty works nya outside his room.

Nakailang drafts na ako sa project ko at hanggang ngayon ay frustrated pa rin akong nagdadrawing. I once again forgot about time at napansin ko nalang na past ten na, I gathered my things once again and went upstairs.

Kanikanina pa din umakyat si Cronus kaya't sinilip ko sya sa kaunting buka ng kanyang pinto. He was once again lying on his bed with feet flat on the ground. I just shrugged and walked to my room.

I took my night bath and wore my comfy satin dress, that reaches just above my knees. Kasama ito sa set na binili ni mama with the satin tank top and shorts.

"Fuckkkkk."

Gulat na gulat na napatingin ako sa wall na namamagitan sa kwarto namin. Napakunot ang aking noo. What was that???

I got up and went nearer sa wall. Stood there and leaned in, ilang minuto and lumipas pero wala na akong narinig pa. Kaya naman mas pinili kong lumabas nalang.

I was silently walking towards his slightly opened door and took a peak. His main lights were closed pero yung night light nya is nakaopen, he is still lying on the same position but this time gumagalaw na sya.

Napakunot ang aking noo at napasinghap ng marealize ko kung anong ginagawa nya.

I just caught him doing himself.

Unti unti nyang iniangat ang kanyang ulo and when he saw me he sat down, still holding his masculinity.

I was there staring at him, shocked and can't move. Am I really seeing him? Musterbating?

I know this is such an idiotic move, I didn't respect his privacy. I shouldn't have came out, pero kasi nag aalala lang naman ako baka kung napano na sya kaya napamura.

He was staring at me kaya naman nakipagtitigan din ako sa kanya, still standing at his door step.

I followed his eyes when he looked down on his member, he was still stroking it. I held my gaze on it and blood rushed through my face. Ano ka ba naman Kai! This is wrong, you are crossing the boundaries, non existent rules made by the both of you.

By now I should be moving away from the door and locking myself on my room, and packing my things to move out as fast as I could. Pero eto ako ngayon nakikipagtitigan pa sa kasarian ni Cronus.

He then motioned me to come closer. If I still have the decency in me and the self respect I would shook my head and storm out of the house. But I did none of those and like the gravity of the earth, I was pulled towards him.