MOTORHEAD SUPPORT FOR OBAMA GOES FROM ZERO TO SIXTY
DAYTONA BEACH — Republican strategists and Presidential candidate hopefuls are reeling from the shocking results of an ESPN/Daytona Beach Community College poll that shows support for President Barack Obama has rocketed among motor sports fans from 0.5% to 67%.
Fox Sports color commentator Larry McReynolds attributes the seismic political shift to Obama’s initiative thawing relations with Cuba.
“And it’s not about cigars,” said the former NASCAR crew chief. “Once relations between our two nations are normalized the greatest untapped inventory of classic car parts in the Western Hemisphere will become available to hungry restorers.
The Castro regime’s restrictive laws on property ownership have infamously filled city boulevards and country roads across Cuba with 1950s Fords, Buicks and Pontiacs, some in mint condition, others on the verge of collapse.
“As soon as I can book a flight, I’m heading to Havana,” said Porky Chumwater, organizer of the annual Spider Rapids Cruise In, one of the largest in the tri-state area. “It’s like the ANWR of classic cars and I aim to get me a cherry Fifty-seven Chevy.”
The Cuban government has recently established the Comintern for Legacy Automobile Parts to capitalize on the intense interest in the country’s rolling stock of Detroit battlewagons and muscle cars.
CLAP is expected to generate billions in revenue for Castro’s regime.
NASCAR Dads have long been to the Tea Party and right wing extremists what Soccer Mom and African American voting blocks are to Democrats and their defection could spell doom for Republicans in the 2016 elections.
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