Bandaged Hearts

Chapter 25

"Yata!"

The snowy air feels tight with anticipation. I stand with a slight lean forward, crying with pleading tears and a painfully throbbing chest. I just want my family to look back and change their minds. I want Yata to change his mind and speak up. But he just stops and looks back at me.

His usually fierce hazel eyes hold nothing but sadness and pity. His form is hunched over a bit. Yata's eyes stick to me for a bit before darting away.

My heart shatters, pieces slowly falling out like the snow coming down from the grey clouds. Hot tears sting my eyes, running faster while burning my cheeks.

"Why..." I whisper, barely managing to squeeze it out.

Yata looks back to me, his eyebrows curving inward toward each other. He has a sad look. It kills me inside. They dart down.

"I... I..."

"Why, Yata?! Just tell me why you're abandoning me?!" I yell, drawing attention.

The vanguard scratches the back of his neck, lips pulling into a straight line. A hot feeling begins to bubble within me, starting at my once void stomach.

"It's... It's n-n-not like that, (Y-Y/n)..." he stutters.

"Then what is it like?! Your king told me to buzz off because I'm a plagued rat, the other clansmen have rejected me, and you can't even give me a straight answer without treating me like a female stranger!"

Yata once again glances to me but quickly pulls his gaze away. His pale lips open and close, making the once wild dog look like a gaping goldfish. Anger bubbles faster and with more intensity.

"I should've just left the day I returned Anna... I should've never thought about any of you like family," I spit out of rage, eyes glued onto the face of Yata. "I should've never thought of you as a close friend..."

His hazel eyes snap up, locking with my own infuriated eyes. There's a hurt, sorrowful look in his eyes. But the pain in his eyes could probably never match the pain burning through my chest.

The snow glides down gently, landing on top of Yata's clothes. It shapes around him softly, making everything seem like a horrible dream.

"Yatagarasu," a gruff voice calls, making Yata flinch.

The vanguard's eyes dart back down to the snowy sidewalk. He looks like a kicked puppy.

"(Y/n)... I... I'm sorry..." he says softly, voice sounding strained.

His body hesitantly turns a full 180, those infamous sneakers trudging away. He disappears amongst the crowd, the warm glow he usually carries vanishing from my reach.

I bite my lip shut to keep any poisonous words from pouring out. Those pitiful tears that have been seeping out from within me continue coming out, but faster. I hate this feeling. Abandonment. Rejection. It must be karma for all those fights I initiated and for those people I coldly rejected.

The walk home takes much longer than what it normally does. At least, it felt like it.

I gaze up at the apartment complex with the one apartment full of problems. Nothing feels real. A soft exhale escapes my numb, tear stained lips. I drag my heavy, lead feet up the stairs, chilled numb to the bone. An empty, heavy feeling weighs deep in my chest with every step, my conscious giving up on HOMRA.