The Sun and the Moon (BL)

Chapter 1

<A/N> I know that a chunk of the beginning is essentially the same as the teaser, but I edited some sections and added some things to it, so it's still worth the read. Please do let me know what you guys think at the end.

Naruto woke up, drenched in sweat; his ears ringing, vision blurry, gasping for a breath of fresh air. It has been months since the war has ended and yet the phantoms still haunt him. They won't leave him alone. So many of his friends died; he couldn't save any of them. The explosions, the blood, the screams haunt him every night.

People hail him a hero. A hero that couldn't save Neji, who one of his closest friends, as he took his last breath in front of Naruto's very eyes, but a hero, nonetheless. There is not a day when he doesn't remember all those who have died, he recites their names like a prayer almost every day before bed.

They will only die when they're forgotten, and Naruto won't let that happen.

He's supposed to be a hero, so why does he not feel like one? Everyone treats him like he is. He saved so many people during the war, the war that was ended by him and his friends.

A war that was started because of him.

He should be basking in all the glory, he should, but he can't. The reality won't let him. The nightmares won't. He won't let himself. He knows very well that he shouldn't blame himself for all those brilliant shinobi dying, yet he can't help but imagine, if only he could have done more; if only he was stronger sooner. Maybe then he would have been able to save Sasuke sooner. It was too late now, though.

Sighing, Naruto used his left hand to wipe the sweat dripping from his chin and got out of bed. His legs shook as he walked over to his bathroom. The lights flickered on, stinging his eyes. The cramped room provided little comfort, as did the rest of his tiny apartment. Even as the hero he couldn't afford anything more . . . comfortable.

After Pain's attack, his previous (equally small) apartment got levelled to the ground, and then he was busy with everything else, so in the end he could only afford this small place with the budget he had at hand. Naruto hadn't bothered with trying for something better. There was no point, he only came back to his house to sleep, and that only took a measly four hours. He preferred not to be alone. 

Reaching out with his right hand to open the tap, realisation struck him. He could feel it, could feel himself extending it, the cold metal brushing against his skin, the pressure required to open the tap . . . and yet, nothing. The sensations nothing but a fragment of his imagination. A mere phantom. There was no right arm.

Frustrated, Naruto reached out his left hand and successfully accomplished what he has just failed. Cold water splashed on his face, waking him up, clearing up his mind. When he looked up, he was finally able to see his reflection properly.

The dark bags under his eyes did nothing but make him look like he didn't get a blink of sleep for a few days. Unlike the usual energetic blue, a pair of empty blue eyes met his own. He will have to change that before he goes in for his appointment with Sakura today.

Walking out of the bathroom, he looked for some indication of what time it is. He didn't bother with an alarm clock; he didn't need one. Looking outside the window, it was still pitch black, but that could be deceptive, it was that time of the year, after all, where the world was swallowed up by darkness for 16 out of the 24 hours. He checked the clock, 5am, four hours until his appointment. He couldn't go back to sleep; he wasn't tired.

After getting dressed in his usual attire, he ate his breakfast – ramen – and left, not bothering to lock his door. There was no point, who would rob him? No, that's wrong. There was nothing worth robbing. His most precious items consisted of the Team 7 photograph, everything else was insignificant. Until recently, he was never at his house, anyway. Always out on missions and all that. He had no time.