Louis sighed as he put the last of the baby grows in the box marked 'Goodwill'. He wiped a tear from his cheek and sat down on the rocking chair, cuddling a stuffed pink bunny to his chest.
'Why are you doing this to yourself, love?' Liam asked, appearing at the doorway, his eyes glassy with tears.
'We were so close. We almost had a family.' Louis whispered.
'Hey, hey, it's okay, love. We're a family, you and me.' Liam said, sitting on the carpet next to the rocking chair.
'I really thought this was our time, Li. She was ours. We held her and everything.'
It had been three years since Louis and Liam started the adoption process, and those years had been taxing, both on themselves and their relationship. They had been matched with five babies so far, and all five times the mother had changed her mind and kept the baby.
This time, they were only hours away from taking their baby girl home. They had held her, fed her, changed her nappy and then were forced to give her back to her mother and leave the hospital with an empty baby carrier.
'I don't think I can go through it again.' Louis said, fisting his eyes.
'Why don't we take a break then, babe?'
'You mean give up?'
'No, baby, just press pause. Just for a little while. Give your heart some time to heal.' Liam said, trying not to cry himself.
Louis sighed shakily and nodded, taking down the wooden R and Y block letters that they had used to display the name 'Avery' above the crib. 'Can you finish packing up her room?' He asked through tears.
Liam nodded and kissed the top of his husband's head. 'Of course I can, love. Go make yourself a cup of tea.'
Louis nodded and padded downstairs, flicking the kettle on to boil. He grabbed a tissue for his running eyes and gave himself a pep talk.
'Pull it together, Tomlinson. She's better off with her birth mother.'
Louis poured his tea and took it to the living room. He stared at the wall while sipping it, unmotivated to do anything else. He almost spilled half the mug down himself when his phone rang, startling him.
'Hello?'
'Hello, Mr Tomlinson, this is Betty.'
'Oh, hi Betts.' Louis sighed as he recognised the voice of his social worker.
'I'm very sorry that things didn't work in your favour last week. I understand that must have been hard for you.'
'It was very hard. At least we didn't bring her home and then have to take her back, like we did the last time.'
'You and Liam have been through so much, Louis, don't beat yourself up. The reason I'm calling is to ask a quick question. I know that you and your husband initially requested to adopt a newborn. How would you feel about maybe looking at adopting an older child? I have three boys here who's last foster situation didn't work out.'
Louis felt his heart drop as he stuttered a response. 'Are-are you serious?'
'How soon can you and Liam be in London? I'd like to talk to you in person regarding the situation.'
Louis looked at his watch. 'If we leave now then we can be there by 5?'
'Sounds perfect. I'll see you soon.' Betty said before hanging up.
'LIAM!' Louis yelled, grabbing his shoes and car keys.
'What? What?' Liam frantically ran down the stairs, afraid that Louis had done something stupid, like set his clothes on fire (again).
