» t h e s o l i l o q u y « 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗𝚎'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚢 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚛𝚜
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we're caught up in a war we didn't ask fo...
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Sometimes, and only sometimes, Jocelin would daydream that she wasn't a Slytherin.
It was dangerous for her to think about the could have's in her life. If she had been more like her sister, stating plainly what house she wanted.
Still, the hat had hesitated.
Across the Great Hall laughter erupted from the Gryffindor table, the usual suspects of James Potter and Sirius Black behind it. She watched in awe, head propped on her hand as she pushed the leftover jam on her plate around with a knife.
Her sister sat with them, and Jocelin felt jaded. How come she never wanted to hang out with her? A small ping echoed from her plate as the knife was driven through the left over crust of her toast when she watched Delilah laugh, placing her hand on James Potters arm.
"What a bunch of gits." Regulus mumbled settling next to her, and Jocelin straightened up her area, dropping the knife so as not to give away the true feelings bubbling just under the surface.
Four years prior just a few seats down the two had sat side by side, grinning as they were welcomed to the table with open arms. It only made sense after all. Her cousins, as his, cheered them on, smirking across toward everyone else. No one mentioned the hesitation on her behalf, she belonged there after all.
Jocelin could remember the sting of Delilah's glare, the tears that pricked the corner of her eyes as her sister turned away welcoming a stranger to the Ravenclaw table. If only she could have welcomed her in that manner. If only she could have been different.
And Jocelin wasn't sure if the she was directed more at her sister, or herself.
"Hello, earth to Avery." A hand waved in front of her face and Jocelin shook herself out of her trance, finally directing her gaze away from her sister. Hettie Burke, her self-proclaimed best friend, shot her a look of confusion.
"Hm?" Jocelin folded her hands into her lap, trying to pass off the daydreaming as anything but.
"I asked if you were coming to Quidditch try-outs with me later. Our boy Reg is defending his position as seeker." Hettie winked at Regulus from across the table. Shyly he looked back at his eggs, poking them with a fork.
"Oh, of course. I'll probably bring some work along with me." She assured her friend with a smile. Hettie looked bored by the comment, rolling her head back with an exasperated sigh.
