Today is my birthday. And yet my husband still ignoring me. I even caught him going to the bar and saw him drinking so much beer until he passed out.
I keep thinking what's going on but he still doesn't hesitate to give some attention to me even just once.
It's been a month since he never pay some attention to me. And now I'm going to confront him. Although I'm scared because maybe just like those past few weeks i tried to have his attention he will ignore me again.
"Lance! Where are you going?!" And this is what I feared to happen again. To be ignored.
"Lance! Please talk to me, babe. Just for once." I said but he keeps looking at the window of this car. I will followed him. Maybe he have a lover that's why he is doing this to me.
But even though I'm besides him shouting at him he doesn't even looking at me as if like I'm not here beside him.
I feel so devastated. Because all the years that we've been through. This is the first time that he ignores me. In a whole month.
I'm tired but I'm keep forcing myself to be brave so I can have the power to talk to him.
But my energy is now slowly getting weaker. Until I get tired and sit my ass here in the passenger seat not talking any words.
We arrived at the flower shop. He jumped out from the car and go back to the flower shop. I saw him buying flowers, Red roses. He looks so happy while holding those flowers. I don't know but I'm finding my emotion. I should be sad right now or crying because looking at him doing those things. But here I am just looking at him. Watching him being a happiest man in the world.
I can't stop myself thinking that he is now cheating on me. Right now. In front of me.
After he brought the flower he immediately put the flower at the back of the driver seat.
"And now finally go to my baby." He happily said while playfully smile is visible on his lips.
I wonder who's baby is it.
Minutes passed he turned on his phone and play our wedding song. I keep looking at him humming and sometimes sing along with the song.
"Look at me now, I'm falling. Can't even talk still stuttering. This time I'm on keep shaking.~~~~"
He looked at my side. He looks so happy while singing those song. I'm shocked because it's the first time he looks at me.
"All I wanna be, yeah all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah
Is somebody to you" ~~~
Until many songs done playing he stopped at Cemetery. I looked at him blankly. Why is he here? Is he visiting his parents? But this is not the right cementery.
He picked up the flower from the backseat. And slowly entering the place. As he walks by the atmosphere suddenly changed into sad one.
Until he stopped at the front of one grave with my full name was written.
He slowly leaned to my own grave that I didn't imagine. And kissed my grave where my name has on it.
He placed the flower in the tomb before he sat down.
"Happy birthday, Baby." The tears slowly poured into his eyes after he greeted me.
"Happy 25th Birthday. This is supposed to be our fifth anniversary celebration but you left me. But it's okay as long as you're happy. Do you remembered the day you asked to go out with me and hang out with you parents along the way of paris?"
He lay down beside the graveyard before wiping his own tears.
"You we're so beautiful that day. Because you are wearing the most beautiful smile. But I didn't know that that would be the last time I will see you smiling. You asked me to drive you home. Even though you can drive by yourself."
He sighed before he closed his eyes and feel the cold breeze air.
"I can't imagine that driving you home to your house will be the last time I will see you by my own eyes. We involved by an accident. You protected me and sacrifice you life with our child inside you womb."
Little by little I remembered what happened that day.
"I miss you, So much. I missing your lips, your kisses, your touches, your presence. I miss everything about you, Baby. But knowing that you will be free and happy in the place where you be today. I'm finally letting you go. I know those past few days you sre by my side. But thinking that you will stay here in earth because i haven't moving on yet making my heart more miserable. Although it's all my fault. But I know I can forgive myself. Just a matter of time."
"I always forgive you." I whispered at his ears. I hugged him with all of my heart. I can't touch him but Let myself hugged him so tight.
Tears slowly dropping on his eyes. As the time he felt my warmth.
"I know you are always here. I love you." He whispered
"I love you too." I respond while hugging him so tight.
"Maybe my love for you is enough but for me. You love is too much for a person like me. In another life. I hope I will still the one who will hold your hand and make you comfortable. I wish in another life I will still your partner in life."
Maybe I don't know I am dead. But I will always be his side. Until I go back in this world.
I will find you until we've met and destined for each other again. Te amo mí amore.
