I actually joined Wattpad somewhere in the summer of 2015. Due to my abhorrent lack of control (and also, I must admit rather flimsy memory), I have alternated between accounts, being an unregistered (a.k.a. not actually logging in) reader and taking hiatuses (which never seemed to last very long).
Reading is engraved into my bones and the temptation of going overboard was irresistible - especially as the years progressed and I became intrigued by literary analysis and devouring silken words. I have written before, of course, for school but at home, my writing rarely extended beyond a few (okay, I'll be honest, three at max) pages. I discovered words came easily to me and description flew through my fingers but, alas, the same could not be said about piecing together coherent narratives. Plenty of ideas have come and gone and yet I could not stick to one - or find the will to develop past the first few stages, at least.
On August 28th, 2020, however, I was apparently hit with a flurry of ideas. Ideas with potential. I immediately published a few poems (My Little Brother is a Dictator) I had been stowing away and watched them make their grand debut. For the rest, I settled on first uploading the drafts of my ideas on Wattpad, painstakingly curating their descriptions, and creating make-shift covers from Canva. The next few days were spent agonising over their aesthetics in the form of forewords and epigraphs and general structure. When it actually came upon me to start writing them... I chickened out. I returned a few times to rejuvenate their aesthetics after being inspired by some particularly wondrous books and yet it went no further (I clearly was of the mind that quarantine would be spent solely consuming as many books as I could get my hands on).
On November the 7th I decided enough was enough. I was going to make all my books public (even though they had basically no actual grasp of plot yet) and then, I was sure, I would feel pressured into writing more; guilted by their constant sight on my profile. Of course, being the aesthete I am, I updated their covers once more and dusted off their descriptions and epigraphs - not because I thought someone might read it (yet, at least), just to satisfy my inner churnings of perfection.
Imagine my surprise, then, to see a few days later that they had been ranked! A few even harbouring precious comments! I was determined then, to finally take the first step to my long-lost dream of becoming an actual author with works to my name.
Yes, I am slightly overwhelmed (especially having never embarked upon such a long-term project). Yes, I am slightly worried (about the logistics, the ideas, the commitment in general, really). Yes, I am slightly hesitant (my track record has never been the best with multi-tasking several projects, often choosing to leave it to the last minute).
But I am also very, very excited. Everyone has to start somewhere. I need to learn to accept that not all (or any) of these initial projects might pan out the way I hope they do and that's okay - I look forward to improving!
I know that there are probably others in similar positions to me, just biding their time to take the leap of faith who might just need a tiny, tiny push and I also know I love reading about other people's journeys into their interests and I'd love to have a written record of my own to look back upon fondly one day.
So here it is: from start to —
(well, wherever it leads).
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And so it begins. I'll keep you guys updated! Feel free to reach out to me if you're embarking (or want to) on a similar journey - it's never too late (or too early)!
