Just Friends

Chapter Twelve

Mew was giving him the silent treatment. Gulf knew he deserved it after trying to avoid him during their last night out, still he foolishly hoped to find his usual message full of emojis which used to drive him nuts. Now, staring at the screen of his phone, he could only think about how much he missed him. He f*cking missed him. For the first time, Mew didn't offer to drive him to school, nor took the bus with him – which he knew Mew only did to keep him company when Gulf complained about Mew being his driver too many times. After spending a lifetime as a loner, he now felt lonelier than ever.

He didn't even bump into him at lunch but he knew they had to see each other at rehearsal at least. He was nervous because they had never fought before. Most of all, he didn't know how to make it up to him. "Gulf, dear. We were waiting for you". While entering the room, Gulf's eyes immediately sought his. Mew wasn't looking at him, though. He was carefully reading his script. He knew how meticulous he could be but right know he was clearly avoiding him. Ugh, payback really is a bitch. Gulf forced a smile and went on stage, clearing his throat. Only then Mew acknowledged his presence: looking into his now icy eyes, he would have preferred not to look at him at all. "About time. I've been looking for you".

Mew immediately changed his expression but even though he was smiling with his mouth, he was not smiling with his whole face. With his eyes. Gulf freezed for a moment, not even remembering what he was supposed to say. "Uhm...I-I". He stuttered and only then Mew showed some concern. However, he didn't approached him like he usually would. Gulf tried to open his mouth and say something but his mind was clouded by something else beyond the play. "Gulf, are you okay? Do you need a minute?". The drama teacher was looking at him strangely – he probably was paler than usual. His stubborn self wanted to say no but he really needed a minute. He wasn't even remembering his lines. And the atmosphere between them was too weird and heavy: he needed to talk to him. "Yeah, thanks".

Mew had already disappeared but he found him soon enough in the dressing room. They stared at each other, silently. Then Mew turned his back on him without saying anything, just drinking from his water bottle. So Gulf did something unexpected, something he never did on his own initiative: he hugged him from the back. Mew went stiff, taken aback. Gulf hugged him even tighter and Mew eventually gave in, touching Gulf's hands around his waist with his fingers. "I'm sorry if I'm difficult. And if I acted like a jerk. You deserve better than this". Gulf rested his forehead against Mew's back, somehow finding through him the strength to have this conversation. "It's okay". Gulf bit his lips at Mew's words, from his tone he knew he was sincere but he was still feeling bad. He knew he had let him down. "No, it's not okay. Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm scared".

Gulf could feel his own heartbeat speed up, even more when Mew turned his face to look at him. Gulf looked up and he was pleased to find Mew's warm eyes back again. He smiled at him shyly and then Mew completely turned to face him and cupped Gulf's face into his hands. "There's nothing to be afraid of". Mew's soft and reassuring tone melt something inside him. Mew had a way with words which made him feel so much better. They weren't always on the same page but Gulf knew Mew always tried his best to understand him. Gulf wanted to help him too, opening himself a bit more with him. He knew he could trust him. "There's everything to be scared of". They looked at each other knowingly and ended up laughing. Gulf already felt so liberated and relaxed. "So do you forgive me?".

Mew moved his hands on Gulf's waist, now holding him instead. "That depends". Gulf smiled at him slightly, tilting his head. "On what?". Mew moved forward, resting his forehead against his. The closeness of their faces made Gulf a little nervous but it mostly warmed his heart. "Promise me not to avoid me anymore? I hate that. I want us to have a good time when we're together. I don't even care about our...status. Just don't shut me out and always talk to me, okay? I promise I won't pressure you". Gulf nodded, trying to say something with his eyes he still couldn't put it into words. "I can do that". Mew stroked his hair and gently kissed his forehead. "I see you two lovebirds are back to your usual selves. Thank God, I had enough of you moping around". Malai winked at Gulf, leaning against the doorjamb. "We weren't...never mind". Malai laughed and then started pushing them out of the dressing room. "C'mon, everybody is waiting for you".

 When they joined the others again, everybody was in circle. "What is going on?". The drama teacher smiled at Mew's question, making room for him and Gulf. "Since you were having trouble today, I thought we could do a little game to help you all getting into character. Why don't we start with you, Gulf? What do you think is the thing that sets you apart from your character?". Gulf nervously rubbed his hands, still not used to being the center of the attention. Mew noticed his agitation and sneakely placed his free hand behind his back, gently caressing it. "Well, we're very different. In every possible aspect. He's a character who knows what he wants and takes it, no questions. But most of all, he's confident with everything he does. With his body. Me? Not so much". He couldn't believe he said it out loud but he knew it was a safe place. "What's not to like?". The drama teacher encouraged him to continue, staring at him intensely, almost like she wanted to decode him. "Uhm, I don't know. I guess I don't find some parts of my body....attractive. So maybe I wish I was just like him". 

He tried not to blush, feeling a little foolish. Usually the guy wasn't supposed to have this kind of insecurities. He didn't hate his body. He liked the fact that he was tall and his legs were not so bad thanks to soccer. However, he mostly hid his body under baggy clothes and avoided looking at himself in the mirror when he didn't wear any. The teacher thanked him and went on with someone else. It was then that Mew gave him a nudge to get his attention. "Hey, I didn't know you felt like that". Gulf looked away, his cheeks already becoming all shades of red. "Yeah, it's not something I usually talk about". Mew leaned in to whisper something in his ear. "No need to be him. I like you just the way you are". Gulf looked back at him, taking it all in. Just as sneakily as he did before, he looked for his hand and slowly intertwined their fingers together. Mew smiled at the sudden contact and held his hand more firmly. Neither let go of the other's hand for the rest of the class.