Lost

06 ~ Sarah

// Sarah //

"Uncles?" Emily asked.

"Yes, I live with my uncles... My parents died in a car accident when I was 11...
After that, I became a very closed person and I did everything to spend the less time possible with my uncles and my cousin, Jack.

"When I was 12 it was when everything began..."

I don't like to talk about this, but I have to this tell to her.

"You don't need to tell me anything if you're not comfortable with this..." Emily said, she probably understood I was upset talking about this, which i am...

"No, I'm going to tell you... I've been keeping this to myself for too long..." I said. "So when I was 12 I told my uncles I could go to school by myself, they said 'You can go with Jack' but I told them I didn't want to because he was attending to another school and I didn't want him to arrive late to school just to take me to mine. They knew my parents loss was still affecting me so they tried to make everything the best for me and used to let me do everything, and, once again, they let me do what I wanted.."

"Well the real deal was that I'd meet some older guys after school on day and they told me to go and meet them before school at the neighbourhood park. And I went to meet them that day... I was only supposed to hang out with them for a little bit, but I ended up missing school that day."

"I had a great time with them because they were super fun and they were older, I was 13 and they were 15/16, so I thought I was super cool to be hanging out woth older guys! And they helped me to forget the pain that came with my parents death."

"The next day I met them again and missed classes once again. Later, this missing classes thing became an habit and I only went to school very few times and because I was attending to a public school the teachers didn't even care if I was at school or not, and didn't even informed my uncles I was not going to school..."

"I kept hanging out with that crew and almost only went to school once a week. I was almost failing that year but then my teachers started helping me and I was able to pass, and I told my uncles I couldn't focus on school due to my parents accident, and obviously they belived..."

"Then the bad companies led to other things and, one day when I met with them, they were all smoking and drinking and I decided that I couldn't be diferent from my friends, so I asked one of them for a cigarette and they gave it to me... After that first one many others came and with 14 I was completly addicted..."

"Well by that time at school I didn't have many friends, only one, Grace. One day Grace asked me why was I smelling like cigarettes every day and I told her it were my uncles that smoked a lot but she didn't belive that was truth and I ended up telling her about my friends and that I smoked. Then she said I shouldn't hang out with that kind of people and I ignored her and told her they were my friends. She told me she had to tell my uncles i'd been missing school and hanging out with that kind of people, and I begged her not to, and for her not to tell the I had to promise her i'd stop missing classes. And I stopped. But I kept seeing my friends, every free period I had, weekend and bank holiday."

"One day I went to a sleepover at Melanie's home, she was a friend of mine from that crew. I told my uncles I was staying at Grace's and they didn't doubt that since she was the only friend I ever talked about. It was Mel's birthday, her parents were out of town and so she invited our whole crew. Well one of her friends decided to get her for her birthday a bag of cocain, they were all sniffing it and saying it was super fun and I tried it too and I live that felling of flying and kept smoking and sniffing that shit because it helped me to forget my pain."

"Monday when I arrived to school, Grace noticed there was something wrong with me because I was even more distant than usual. She asked me what happened and I was super rude to her... My body was missing that high felling... The next weekend, I told my uncles I was going to Grace's but instead I went to Mel's and we got high again... I got addicted to that shit. I kept going to Mel's almost every weekend to get high together. I was messing my life up without even noticing."

"My uncles were suspicious that I wasn't at Grace's, so for a few weekends, I stopped seing my crew... I was going crazy for not getting high. One day I went to school very moody and irritable and Grace asked me what was going on, as always, I said nothing. And she didn't ask again. She could see I was getting very distant. The next day, I was still like that, and she asked again. I ended up telling her in the last month I'd been doing drugs with my friends. She said she couldn't belive what I was saying. But everything made sense in her mind... Me being irritable, always either angry or almost crying..."

"I was not okay, even though I kept saying I was. I looked at my life: I was a 15 almost 16 year old girl who after her parents's death started pushing everyone away and found her shelter with a bunch of broken kids like her and started smoking, drinking and drugging herself to forget her pain and the mess that her life was..."

"Grace told my uncles. I freaked out on her. She didn't have the right to do that, I thought, she was going to ruin my life, I thought. Instead she saved it, even though I didn't deserve, after everything that happened to me, all the lies I told her, she stayed always by my side... My only true friend, who I was also able to push away."

"After 6 months of being clean, my uncles took me to a rehab clinic where I stayed for over a year. I got out in may of this year...After I got out I never touched anything, not even a cigarette and I went to talk to Grace to apologise and tell her I shouldn't have said some things I said to her and that wasn't me talking... I don't know how, but she managed to forgive me... And my uncles told me to go to the boarding school to be away from any temptations..."

"Whoa" Emily said shocked. I bet they now thinks I'm just a drug addict who's useless.

"I'm so sorry Sarah, I had no idea..." She whispered in my ear while she hugged me.

"Don't be, they were my mistakes and I've learned from them... But I swear to you, I've never thought about touching any of those things again!" I said to her.

"Don't worry, I'd never think that!" She said.

"Thank you, Em... It means a lot that..."

"I agree with her!" Noah said.

Thank god, I've got to get along with more people like these two...

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[A/N:]

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Mads x