Unrestricted Mind

Just One Day

If I will be given just one day I will do everything even though it's against my will, I will do. So that emotions that I've been suppress for a long time will finally put in its end. Everything started when I was 8 years old. I was diagnosed with terminal illness, Cystic Fibrosis is the reason why I'm suffering I want to live longer, why do I need to suffer, I just want to be normal but this shit blocking the way for me. Sometimes I'm thinking to end all of this by jumping in a building or just slashing my wrist. But I know thinking that way is not even helpful it's just a bunch of suicidal thoughts that is poisoning me and the reason is me, again. I'm pathetic and a family burden, how useless of me.

I met a guy with the same situation just like me and that is bullshit. Cystic Fibrosis patients can't be together, they should never meet because of the high risk that my happen, both of them is carrying a bacteria within their lungs that could be a harmful to each other. They say "Love wins" but in contrary I've lost him. Love is never been the best option for us all the time, acceptance is the best option for the both of us but still were blinded by love. 

"Shit". I cussed. 

"What the fuck! Are you blind?". I said while looking at the person in front of me. 

"No, I'm not, you're just to weak that you've even collapse just by I bump you a little". He said while taking off his shades. WOW this is insane how rude he is, it's not my fault he just so careless to walk that he even bump me. Intentionally.

"What are you trying to say moron?" I bluffed while looking intently on his captivating eyes. Those are mesmerizing plus the mole under his right eye caught my attention, but still he is a jerk.

"Moron? Oh come on don't be a crying baby we both have faults in here, please stop blaming me". He said while smirking. This bullshit is getting into my nerves.

"You jerk, are you playing victim right now?" I calmly said while heavily breathing.

"You're a patient you should stay at hospital or in your house to prevent this kind of incident". He said while wearing a mocking smile. He determined that I'm a patient just by looking at me because I'm wearing a oxygen tube that provides me an air to breath. Every one can easily determine if I'm a patient just by looking at me and it made me feel so worse. They will eventually think that I'm weak because I'm wearing these. How absurd.

My eyes became teary and my breathings became more heavy. He is a total jerk. I turned away and walk without giving the jerk a single glance. Then suddenly someone grab my arm.

"Wait I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sorry". He said with full of sincerity. These two-faced jerk, huh he's now acting kind towards me, a total jerk.

"You don't have to feel sorry, what you've said is all true I should be hospitalized rather than wandering around. Thank you for your concern".  I said while turning again and starting walking wobbly and then all went blank.

I found myself on my bed, I feel so exhausted. I get up and put my jacket on. I know I should be staying at my bed to gain energy but if I do it's just a waste of time. 

I'm now walking at the seashore it touches my feet the cold breeze matches the mood of what I'm feeling right now. Cold and tired. 

"Do you want to have some fun?" A guy speak. 

"What do you mean?" I asked while looking straight at the deep black serene sea.

"I'm asking you if you want to have fun with me" he said in an irritated voice.

It went silent. Is this the day that I can do what ever I want? If I come with him can I finally get what I want and be happy just from the moment I come?

"What? Are you going to be silent forever?" He said while chuckling, a soft one.

"I'll come you jerk".

And then I saw the twilight and now the dawn is approaching. Another day, but this day is different because  I'm with a jerk that I didn't know. June 13, 2013 the day I met him and the day I feel the beginning of another tragedy.

Misyel

Should I do a part two?

feel free to comment your thoughts and suggestions!