Draco Malfoy Gets a Life Coach

Lunch Plans

I arrived home to the Manor and Mother was once again waiting for me in the hall.

"I am not in the mood for an interrogation today, Mother."

"I won't be interrogating you, nor do I ever do so, but that is beside the point," she said, straightening her dress in her familiar dignified manner. "I merely came to inform you that we will be having a guest for lunch in an hour, so you should go and bathe and smarten up beforehand."

I gaped at her. We hadn't had a guest in the Manor since... well, since Shaklebolt and the Aurors came to discuss the terms of our house arrest.

"A... a guest?"

Mother took a deep breath before speaking, and it was clear to me that she was holding back nerves. "Yes, as I mentioned to you some time ago, the Minister understands that you are a young man in the prime of your life. You have agreed to stay beyond your initial time commitment at the Ministry and so should not have to wait to begin courting witches."

Was this really happening?

If my parents were going to select a bride for me, as I expected them to, that was one thing. Mother arranging for women to come to our home so I could get my jollies off, however, was an utterly revolting prospect.

I hadn't had much time for witches, what with being tasked to kill the headmaster of my school in sixth year. Prior to that, I had Parkinson hanging all over me, and she was all talk. She loved to flirt with me in public, but once we were alone she would clam up and ask if we could just cuddle. It was fine by me, to be honest, the whole idea of physical intimacy set my nerves on edge.

I suppose that's not the usual experience for a teenage boy, or so I hear, but that's how it felt. Perhaps it was because my family had always been so clinical about relationships and marriage. It also didn't help that the majority of the time when most of my peers were sneaking off into empty classrooms or out into the Hogwarts grounds past curfew, I was thinking about the return of the Dark Lord and what bearing it would have on my family and future.

In any case, my lack of experience alone made this whole scenario utterly embarrassing. If my mother thought that I'd been missing some long sought after female companionship, then she was sorely mistaken. I was fine on my own.

"Yes, darling, a guest. You will see who it is forthwith. Now go up and get changed. The parlor at noon," she said, and then turned and walked away at top speed.

She always did that when she knew I wanted to argue and didn't want to give me the opportunity.

Resigned to my fate, I went up to my room and drew myself a bath, musing over who the guest might be. Parkinson was a possibility, of course, though I shuddered to think what my life would be like with her as my wife. She was a nice enough girl, but severely lacking in the intelligence department. Common sense, sure, but no book smarts and no interest in gaining them. That was one of the problems with our relationship in school, we never had anything of substance to discuss beyond the Dark Lord.

I lowered myself into the hot bath water and savored my remaining moments of quiet and calm before having to go and display myself at auction in my own home. Perhaps the witch that would be in attendance was feeling the same way...

Lathering the sandalwood and vanilla soap my grandmother had given me at Christmas, I mused on who besides Parkinson it might be. Davis? Selwyn? Greengrass? I winced at the thought of Bulstrode. Pure blood or no, I didn't think Mother would think Millie and I to be a good match. At least, I hoped. She wasn't so easy on the eyes.

As I lay there soaking in the water, my thoughts absurdly moved to Granger. Unwittingly, I pictured her in some Pure blood robes, seated out on the veranda with Mother, taking tea and discussing the merits of a Granger/Malfoy union.