The Girl Next Door

10. Text

"You didn't tell me you were friends with the Kang from next door. I could've called her mom so that she could have dinner with us,"

"Mom, I just met her not too long ago, it's fine."

"Ah, she really should've stayed so we can talk more."

"Yeah sure."

My mood wasn't exactly good with how Seulgi spent little time at the house, and it feels really wrong of me to feel so sour about it. I'm feeling worse than ever.

"Are you still feeling confused?" Mom says as she moves her seat a bit closer to mine, remembering what I said earlier.

"W-what? No." I stutter as I ate.

"Joo. What's bothering you? Is it school?" Her tone changes and I could feel she isn't going to stop until I tell her what it is. Mom has always been keen of what I do and who I keep in contact with. I don't blame her. "Kind of? Not school... but.."

I try to remember the feeling I got when I looked right into Seulgi's eyes, when she gives me the warmest smiles and sweet gestures. My head automatically looks down a bit and I smile to myself, Mom makes a face as she looks at me.

"What is this? Are you joking with me? Smiling suddenly.." She scoffs at me and continued eating, thinking I was messing with her.

I wave her off while still smiling. "Mom, no. It's like this, I feel.. I don't know, I've been feeling really weird. Like, I'm happy, but I'm not sure if I am,"

Mom's eyes widen and she carefully puts down her spoon and fork. She nods, signaling for me to continue. "I feel.. excited when Seulgi's near me."

"Oh my god," Mom stands up from her seat and goes to the nearest sink, resting her back against it. "Joo.. it can't be.." Her expression was shocked and I couldn't comprehend what she was feeling.

"What?"

Mom composes herself and stands up more firmly. "Did you feel like this when you first met Sooyoung?"

I shake my head no. "You didn't feel confused or anything when you were with her?" I still shook my head no.

She continues to walk around, and I was starting to feel confused with her as well. "Mom, why are you asking those questions? How is Sooyoung related to this?"

"Is it really what I think it is? Ah, it may be too early to assume. But what if.." Mom was talking to herself while still walking around, and she doesn't have any idea I can still hear her.

"Mom. Mom!" Mom snaps out of it as soon as my voice got higher. "What are you doing?"

Mom smiles to herself and repositions her chair next to mine again, sitting down with ease and touching my shoulder. She inhales and exhales, then looks to me. "Joohyun, let me ask you something. Answer honestly, okay?"

I nod to her.

"Do you know what gay means?"

I push away her hand from my shoulder and roll my eyes at her. "Mom. I'm not gay."

"No, but Joo, I'm just asking if you know-"

"I know, okay? And what does being gay have to do with me being confused?"

"Okay, alright, maybe I'm wrong." Mom puts both of her hands up, with a really joker face that I can't understand. She's not making fun of me is she? "Joohyun, you're a smart kid, you should be able to understand what you're feeling."

"I'm telling you this because I don't." I say with a serious face, hoping Mom actually takes my troubles more seriously because she isn't helping me at all. "Mom, are you just going to make fun of me?"