Laughter Lines

Do You Think We're Ready?

The slice of pie had a crust that was flaky and golden with dark brown spotting on the edges. When Dib sliced his fork through it, it crackled. "You sure know how to pitch a proposal," he chuckled.

Teles and Timothy sat across from him. Timothy had a nervous smile on crooked and Teles watched, unruffled and silent.

Dib took a bite. Perfect cinnamon apple. Softened, but with enough firmness left that he got a residual crunch. He waved the fork at them. "Look. Selfishly and completely in theory? I love the part of your idea that involves you making food for me and my facility every day. Practically? I've been trying to open up a serious laboratory in the city for years. Maybe even a small university. Arthur and I have been working like crazy on establishing teleportation so I can commute between the labs in a blink and get my employees here and back easier. Now you want me to drop all that, turn this location into my main facility with live-in quarters, full kitchen, and cafeteria."

Timothy spoke up. "You could still open a branch lab in the city with this plan. Just later than you planned."

"Yeah, because all my resources and attention would be diverted to remodeling this location for the foreseeable future." Dib took another bite of pie. "Also, your proposal assumes everyone's cooperation and that the involved members of your family aren't keen on living in the city anymore. Kay. Dulcie. Arthur. Sure, there's a pile of complaints, reports, and investigations to deal with regarding city damage from the giant rampaging fox, not to mention the unicorn that was seen squeezing into your house, but given a few months I could probably sort that out."

Timothy's smile went from nervous to weary. "Think you could sort it out enough that we won't be getting privately investigated and side-eyed by neighbors and officials for the next two decades?"

Dib hesitated. Timothy continued. "A lot has happened in the last year. I haven't wanted any adventure for a long time and I—we—want it even less now. Truth is, unless we retreat to some forsaken cabin in the woods, it's likely we'll never have a moment's peace again. But we couldn't run off anyway. The government knows who we are and what Teles is and they'd be hunting if we tried to hide. None of that is what we want for Dulcie, either. And gods know what measures they'll take with Kay if the rest of us flee. We both think it's better to offer you full-time access in researching Teles and a full fledged on-site eatery in exchange for living quarters and protection."

Dib chewed the next bite slowly. Teles, he noted, had refrained from speaking and only squeezed Timothy's hand from time to time. Dib appreciated the restraint. Not that they needed her vocal influence to hook in the deal. Going along with this plan would be a logistical nightmare for a while, but in the long run...

"So. You've always talked about how much Dulcie loves her singing lessons and 'normal' school. If I did re-adjust everything but she still wants to continue that, you know it would be a few months at minimum before we could get a teleporter up and running."

"Yes. We'd have to return to homeschooling for the interim. I bet there's plenty she could learn from you here."

"Oh come on, you know I don't have time to sit down and teach her."

"Who said anything about sitting down? There's a lot she could learn just shadowing you and asking questions. It would intersect with at least three school subjects."

"Four if you count unicorn-back-riding for P.E." Dib conceded, smirking. "Well, I think—"

His cellphone rang. DROP EVERYTHING, DROP EVERYTHING, DROP EVERYTHING it shrieked from his pocket.

"Excuse me, I have that tone set to both Kingsmen phone numbers right now ARTHUR IS THAT YOU?" He slapped the phone to his ear, shouting like it was a relic from Alexander Graham Bell's workshop.