mini beck || tiktok

Chapter 1: New Normal

so, heads up, i changed the face claim from Nessa to Cynthia, but I will also be switching between Addison and Cynthia in like Tiktok's and pictures. Cynthia will not be in the story but Addison might be, so just ignore it please. if it's supposed to be Lottie, it's Lottie.

also covid, same as all of my other stories, is nonexistent.

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Lottie POV

4:32 pm (Los Angeles, California)

I sigh, leaning back against the huge column outside LAX, pulling out my phone from the back pocket of my skinny jeans as I make sure my suitcase is properly stood up.

I check the list of notifications that my phone acquired during my flight and I see a couple texts from my brother, wrapping one arm around myself as I read his ever positive messages.

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Noah

hey sis, Dix and I will be in front of LAX in our Uber in about twenty five-ish minutes
(4:19 pm)

this is going to be good for you okay? it's all going to be okay (:
(4:27 pm)

i'm outside waiting.
(4:33 pm)

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I look down at my conversation with my brother, tears coming to my eye as I think about all the events that led to this moment, to me having to come to LA and be the most absolute bother to my wonderful big brother.

I slide down the pillar, knowing I have ten minutes to sit here alone as I begin falling back into the depths of my mind.

But I can't help it.

This isn't even my choice.

I didn't want to come here, to leave my home.

But Noah and my mother decided that I can't handle going to school well enough anymore. At least inperson school, living back in Arizona.

When Mara died... school became a whole new hell.

Mara and I were best friends our whole lives, since we met in preschool. But three months ago, I watched her die. Every time I close my eyes, I see her face as she fell. We had gone up there hundreds of times, up in that tree.

We took Mason and Kody to that spot, these two guys that we liked. No one ever had gone with us. Not even Noah. That was always our rule. But we wanted to show off, and Mara jumped towards the top branch, but it just fell beneath her.

I tried to catch her.

I tried so hard, but she fell and the boys didn't see her until she hit the ground.

I should've climbed up first.

I should've been the one at the top.

I should be the one who is dead.

Within two weeks of her death, I was failing school, and I was so clearly struggling that all of our friend's were too scared to even talk to me. I've been crying everyday when I get home, and in the past three months, I've had six panic attacks at school, two of which I had to leave during.

The past month, my mom couldn't even make me get out of bed to go in for school.

I know both my parents were trying not to bother Noah, and I didn't want to either. He doesn't need us, so I try so hard to not need him. But last week, my mom gave up, and called him after it all went too far.

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I started feeling like I could hear her, Mara, calling for me, all I could think of was her face the day she died.