Conflictful Love ~ Shinkami ~

Chapter 4

!!!⚠️TW⚠️ INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA,  SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, AND EATING DISORDER!!! (Sorry)

Kaminari's POV
We all sat down at a booth Mina and Sero squishing us and making sure me and shinsou's sides were pushed together. I tried to change the subject by half yelling "I'M HUNGRY HOW ABOUT SOME FOOD?" it didn't work. Gosh why are they like this? "DENKI YOUR BLUSHING SO MUCH" Mina practically yelled in my ear. I shrunk back from the volume and hit my head into shinsou's shoulder.

I turned my head to look at him, he was blushing too..... Except on the other side of him sero was pushing him into me, maybe he likes sero.. Shinsou quickly looked away. Yeah he probably likes sero.. Or he's just embarrassed because he's not gay- why am I even thinking any of this?! Being gay is a sin. Im gonna go to hell. The words struck in his head like a bell echoing over and over again. He hated it, why was he even born? The world would be so much better off without me. No one cares. I'm just a burden to everyone so why does it matter-

I was snapped out of my thoughts by shinsou puting has hand on my shoulder. He looked at me "everything all right kaminari?" he said with worry in his eyes. Dammit I spaced out again.. "Yeah I'm fine" I say pushing a fake smile refocusing my attention on the conversation.

Shinsou's POV
I look over at kaminari, maybe he just spaced out.. He did look kinda scared and- ashamed? Either way he's smiling now so it seems he's fine...

We ordered and the food came fairly quickly, I got a mini pizza and kami got chicken alfredo.

As I finished my food I looked over to see kami had barely eaten... "Kami?"I ask. "Hm? What is it shinsou?" he turns to me with a small smile. "You've barely eaten, I thought you said you were really hungry"... "Oh yeah I was but this pasta is really filling" he laughed nervously smiling..

"Eat." I said in a more insistent and commanding tone. "No shinsou really I'm not hungry" he said as he scratched the back of his neck smiling. He's hiding something. "Fine, but at least take the leftovers with you, don't waste food." he didn't mean to make his tone as harsh a it came out to be but kaminari didn't really seem to mind still smiling.

We headed back to the dorms as a group casually making small talk before we split up leaving for our own rooms. I lie down not bothering to change and immediately fell asleep. Still my dreams were filled with nightmares as they always were. Just another restless night....

~TBC!!~

Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed, I know my posting schedule hasn't been the best but I hope I made up for it with today's (*technically tonight's cuz it's 3am ) chapter, see ya next time byeee!!!

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