Say hi to stars from your favorite(?) object show! Welcome to the strangest, shipping-est, saddest and happiest ask or dare out there, with characters unseen in the series, wholesome interactions, questionable queries, cruel or cute dares, and myste...
ST: Hello everyone! This is BEST OF BFBW 2! Unfortunately, our producers were too lazy to gather the footage, so we'll have to do a Best Of BFBW without any. Ruby, is the lens cap still on.?
Ruby: Oh, sorry!
ST: Ruby, you gotta be a little more.. aware.. if you want to be my assistant camera operator.!
Ruby, on the brink of tears: I'm sorry.
ST: Ruby, I didn't mean it like that. It's an easy fix anyway! All we gotta do is take the lens cap off! See?
The camera is briefly white with artificial light, until the brightness gives way to ST holding the lens cap in the same gray, dull studio as always, now with Christmas lights and brightly colored red and green handprints and/or footprints on white paper, each of the 63 with hard-to-make-out names on them. There was, miraculously, nobody who didn't celebrate. The 63 came from Fanny, who hates paint. A shame. The messiest was of one footprint, in green. The name written in the corner, obviously written by SweetTooth, was hard to read from afar, but seemed to have an R and four other letters. The neatest was of a handprint, in red, and in the corner was "Lollipop" written in impeccably neat cursive. There was one that looked like it had been made by paint-covered fur smudged on paper, the corner bearing "Puffball" written in large, yet messy letters. Grassy's name was basically vaguely letter-shaped squiggles with yellow highlighter beneath them (which actually said Grassy's name) in SweetTooth's handwriting. One of them was green and covered in glitter, with a hard to make out "Leafy" in the top corner. Next to it was one in red, but the name was burnt off. Both were of hands, of course. Leafy's was her left, the burnt one was the right. Next to the burnt one was a smaller handprint, that looked like it had come from a small child. The "small child" in question, who had burnt his paper as well, was mopping a trail of green paint off the floor. Presumably, he made that trail. There was even one with six handprints on it, and in the center of those, it said (in all caps) "FREESMART!"
ST: Once again, hello everybody! As you can see, we've all decorated for Christmas already! (My apologies to those of you who don't celebrate.) We need to make this episode quick because we have LOTS of and asks to get to! Our first great memory, or memories, may I say, are my reveal and Prox's! It was nice to actually get out there and show what we look like! The second is when Prox discovered that Marker was a vampire! It was terrifying then, but we look back on it and laugh nowadays! The third and final memory is...... can we go without showing this one? It was a bad time for most of us. (Mainly me, ouch.)
Four, off screen: Nothing bad really happened here.
Two, also off screen: Do you not remember?
Snowball, distantly: Nothing happened! Just read it, gosh!
SweetTooth, giving Snowball the benefit of the doubt, decides to read it.
ST: Four and Two's sword fight! Now that was action! Speaking of now, it's time for a commercial break!
The camera cuts to black, then turns back on with Approximate in SweetTooth's place.
Prox: I will be taking charge for this chapter, since SweetTooth's not doing so hot.
There is distant sobbing. It is rather faint.
Prox: I will be right back.
Prox is off-camera for a second, and when the sobbing dies down, she comes back.
Prox: Now that I've attended to "other matters," we can now get on with our asks and dares!
In the original draft, the author put the dares here for her own reference. However, she is a a stupidhead and left them for the world to see.
Prox: Leafy, you get the first ask!
Leafy: Oh?
Prox: How have you been since Firey was eliminated?
Leafy: It's a little sad, since we JUST made up, but I get to hang out with him here!
Prox, internally: Aww <:)
Prox: Our first dare is for Woody.
Woody is worried to know what the dare is.
Prox: Your dare is to.. confess to Teardrop!
Woody: (I used to like her, a lot! But since she kicked me, I've sort of feared her! She's pretty powerful.)
Prox: Oh. We got two more dares! The first is for Lightning to confess to his crush!
Lightning: I'm not crushing.
Prox: Fair enough. The second is that Blocky and Snowball get to do whatever they want for an hour!
In the next hour there is death, destruction, and snuggling the bros without being seen as gay.
Prox: Oh. The next is for... Tacopop to be canon. This isn't QUITE canon, but uh.... I guess I could try.
Prox goes into the supply closet in the background and exits wielding what seems to be a sci-fi-esqe ray gun. On the side, in pastel yellow letters are the words "REALITY WARPER."
Prox: I've been waiting for a chance to use this ol' thing!
Taco and Lollipop: ._.
Prox points the gun at Taco and Lollipop.
Prox: Don't worry, I got permission to use this from SweetTooth. Now, stand back everybody!
Just as the tip begins to glow, rocky goes within it's range with Taco and Lollipop. Nobody notices. When the glowing stops...
Prox: IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!
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Prox: Well. Uh. No Tacopop I guess. That also takes away the whole Lollipop confession thingy for another..
Prox reads the manual for the reality warper.
Prox: Five chapters! The next dare is for ABNTT to react to more cosplay TikToks. I have... no idea what a TikTok is.
Match: Have you, like, been living under a rock?
Prox: I spent half of my life at a playground, Match. Anyway, the next is for SweetTooth, asking if she is ok.
Prox looks off camera at the hall where the hosts of the ask or dare reside.
Prox: She'll probably be by next chapter, but right now she is not. Our next ask is for Remote.
Remote: What is it?
Prox: Remote, are you lesbian and do you have a crush on Liy?
Remote: No. I don't feel attraction, we went over this.
Prox: Oh. Next... oh wait, that was the last one that we could do. So long everybody!
AUTHOR!!: Anyway, this chapter is over 1000 words, and I listened to a whole album and then another (halfway through) while writing it. As we "speak," I am listening to an instrumental of Pity Party by Melanie Martinez. Good song ngl. Bye bye! :D
