Leverage

Giving her up

Jacob

I came back early from work hoping to surprise Dev by arranging a little dinner at our apartment only to find out that she was already present there before me. I could sense something was wrong with Devora when I returned from Locksfield on Monday because she hadn't replied to my texts and calls which was quite unlike her.

I found her curled up on our bed asleep bundled in the comforter. I closed on to her side and caressed her face and rested my palm on her forehead to check if her body temperature was not acting normal. Thankfully it was normal. It is quite unlike her to take a day off without any illness; whatever the reason is it must be crucial enough for Dev to skip work.

I sit by her on the bed and run my fingers through her hair. My actions slowly rouse her from her sleep. Her sleepy eyes blink open and her eyes find my face. Her hair looks tousled and her face looks worn. Her red puffy eyes give out the fact that she had been crying which puts me in great concern.

She lays up and rests and leans back on the headboard and tries to give me a smile. "You're back early today," she says.

"Yeah I thought I'd surprise you by arranging a sweet dinner by the balcony for the two of us to enjoy but it seems you're not well," I say. She does not reply to my statement and instead seems to be at a loss of words. She fiddles with the blanket that rests on her lap and tilts her chin down to shield her face from me.

I cut through the chase and ask "Why were you crying? Is something bothering you love?"

"Am I that obvious?" she replies with her hoarse voice. "I have been meaning to call you since the last two days but I figured you'd be busy back in Locksfield. I wasn't feeling particularly well on Friday evening after you left. In fact, my nausea was so bad that I had to call Carrie, my best friend to accompany me to see the doctor."

"Why didn't you call me baby? I would've rushed back here if you'd have told me about your predicament."

She sighs and says," I didn't want to interrupt your time with your family and it was your sister's birthday on last weekend too. We already live together, I- I just don't want you to feel like that I'm keeping you all to myself, you know."

It's true that there was a birthday I had to attend on the weekend but it wasn't my sister's birthday; it was my wife Cheryl's birthday. I couldn't tell Devora that when she caught me browsing for jewelry on my laptop last week so I improvised and told her that it was my sister Lily's birthday. Somehow Dev has the notion that I don't to spend enough time with my family, meaning my parents and sister after I moved in with her in Dupemont.

What the poor girl doesn't understand is that she's my happy place, regardless of how wrong our relationship is; which she has no idea of course and I intend to keep it that way as long as possible.

I cup her face with my hands and say," Baby, whatever happens to you I want to know. Even if it's a small scratch."

Her expression looks troubled and as much as she wants to hide it, it's evident on her face. She takes a deep breath and continues," What I'm about to tell is very unexpected and remember we'll get through this together. I don't know how to tell you this I- I mean we've never discussed about this. I'm so scared baby, I don't know what to do."

She starts bawling her eyes out and I immediately pull her into a hug and rub her back.

"Shhh it's alright baby. Whatever it is I'm sure we can get through it. I'm here and I'll always be by your side."

"Jacob I- I think I'm pregnant", she states between her hiccups and I can feel the ground sinking below my feet. That was the last thing I thought was going to be our problem.

We had been very careful during intercourse in the past and still are. I can feel my heart thudding in my ears and I almost lose my footing as I try to stand up. I scramble my brain to conjure words and say, "H-How is this possible? We used protection every time and it's supposed to prevent accidents like this!"

I run my fingers through my hair and almost pull out my roots. I'm scared, angry at myself for being so careless. I don't know how I'll confront Cheryl and tell her about this entire situation. But it has to be done. This entire situation is a fu*king mess and no one is to be blamed but me.

I mean what was I thinking; that I could keep both the women in my life happy without them knowing of each other's existence. I am a bastard and I deserve it but I'm only human. I didn't mean to go astray from my marriage and love Devora but it happened and now I put the three of us in this mess.

Truth is the one thing that can never be hidden. Even gods are incapable of concealing truths and I'm only human. I guess I got cocky and thought I could get the best of both worlds. They didn't deserve it and I sure as hell don't deserve them and I know that they both could abandon me after I tell them the truth.

I'm happy that Dev and I are going to have a baby. There was not a single doubt in my mind if I'm going to be a part of this baby's life but I'm dreading the consequences that will follow up after the birth of this baby.

But first I must come clean with both the women in my life and Cheryl deserves to know. She is the mother of my firstborn and my lifelong friend, although we don't share a typical marriage. She deserves to know how I made myself at home with another woman who I wasn't married with and came to love them equally. Then I'll tell Devora and happily accept any punishment they both bestow upon me.

God, I'm a mongrel set out to ruin people's lives.

One thing I'm sure of is that I'll be a part of both my kid's life and I refuse to be an absentee father and I'll raise my second child with as much love and care as I have raised my son Chase who will be turning four this year.

"I'll be back." I tell Devora as I pick up my phone and move to the other room. She gives me a quizzical look probably wondering about my reaction. I barely manage a smile towards her while I close our bedroom door.

My legs move towards the balcony where I support myself on the railing with my left arm and take out my phone and dial Cheryl's number. This is it. I think. Karma laughing at my face.

She picks up on the fifth ring.

"Hello"

"Hey...I- I need to tell you something."

Author's note : I'll update next when this this chapter hits 7 votes, 5 comments and 5 shares. So hurry up if you want the next chapter asap. Love to all my readers.

xoxo

until next time