The Art Of Moving On (ON-HOLD)

CHAPTER THREE

Hi! This chapter contains a lot of profanities so if you are an underage, please be responsible enough to know that there is nothing good in swearing and cursing other people. But I'm sure you're aware of that already, I'm just here to remind you. Also, the thoughts and opinions of the characters are not meant to attact any specific person. I repeat, it was all just an opinion made to build up the character's personality as a person. Please be open-minded. Thank you!

•••

"Fine. Si Mina. Mina is better."

Woah. That shit hurts like hell.

I've never felt so humiliated like this one in my whole life. I feel like I was ready to dig a hole on the very spot where I stand right this instant and bury myself. Hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko pa bang humarap sa kanila ngayon.

Putragis ka talaga Chandria Hidalgo!

I just wish no one would remember that this happened when they woke up tomorrow.

I felt my phone vibrated and that's when I realized that I was still standing stupidly at the entrance of the bar for a long time now. I clicked the answer button before putting it beside my ear. It was Evans, my cousin.

"Hel-"

"Why are you not answering my calls?" I rolled my eyes at his arrogance. Someone should teach this man some good manners, really.

I continued walking until I was finally outside the bar. I sighed as I sat on the elevated pavement I saw on the side, not minding the dirt. It's the least thing that I should worry right now. "What do you want?" I did not receive any response so I checked if the line was still connected. Hindi pa patay ang tawag kaya nagsalita ulit ako. "Huy. Ano buhay ka pa?"

I heard a shuffling sound from the other line so I assumed he was doing something. I waited and after a while he finally talked. "Where are you?"

Napakunot ang noo ko. "I'm here at a bar. I had a reunion with my-"

"Give me the name of the bar," he damanded. He immediately ended the call when I told him my exact location. All I can do was to glare at the innocent phone on my hand. Napaka talaga nang lalakeng yun kahit kailan. I heaved a deep sigh as I look at the dark sky above me. The moon was not visible, even the stars. Mukhang uulan pa nga.

"I see the sky has no light today," I mumbled to myself. I wonder what it felt like. To be sorrounded by darkness, with no light to assure you that everything is alright. Or worst, to be consumed by darkness, sucking all your lights and at the same time, clouding the lights of other people for you to not see it. For you to be lost in the darkness, alone. It must be terrifying. Being stuck in the dark alone helplessly. I never want that for myself. You see, I'm not a selfless person. Yes I value the people around me but I value myself more. I don't give too much of myself to someone. I believe in self love. I believe that everyone can or will leave you but not your self. What I observe to most people though is that they give too much of theirselves to someone, afraid of being left behind but losing theirselves in the process. Paano mo sisisihin ang ibang tao sa pag-iwan nila sayo kung ikaw mismo, tinalikuran ang sarili mo? Paano ka pahahalagahan ng ibang tao kung ikaw mismo hindi mapahalagahan ang sarili mo? Huwag kang bigay ng bigay. Lalo na kung alam mong wala kang matatanggap na kapalit. Huwag mong talikuran ang sarili mo para lang sa taong hindi ka deserve. You should know your worth, so that everyone could see it.

But I do not condemn their decisions in life. In the end, nasa tao parin naman iyon. Alam ko namang iba-iba tayo nang pananaw sa buhay. Kung ganoon ka talaga, kung iyon na ang nature mo, wala namang kaso. As long as wala kang natatapakan o nasasaktang ibang tao. Baka kasi masyado kang abala sa paghahabol na hindi mo na namamalayan na may nasasagasaan ka na. Baka kasi masyado kang focused sa harapan mo na nakalimutan mo na iyong mga tao sa paligid mo, iyong mga taong tunay na nagmamahal sayo, iyong pamilya mo. You should limit yourself. You should know how and when to stop. And lastly, you should know how to appreciate yourself and your family. Kasi sa huli, sila parin ang tatakbuhan mo.