"Laguna? That's far." umupo si Amaiah sa tabi ko habang binabasa ang conversation namin ni Joaquin
I sighed, "should I continue talking to him?" tanong ko
"It's up to you, Yela." sagot niya
Ibinalik niya sa akin ang phone ko at kinuha ang laptop niya, tatapusin na yata niya ang research paper. Agad akong tumayo para umakyat sa second floor, doon nalang muna siguro ako sa balcony tatambay dahil wala pa akong gana magbuklat ng mga notes.
This pandemic really sucks, wala manlang face to face classes so I can socialize with new people. How can I even enjoy my senior year? I already miss those Ati-atihan parties every year, I miss the life I had before.
It's been two years since this pandemic started, it's almost 2022. Hindi ko nga alam if may natututunan pa ako sa online class, all I do is pass activities over and over again. I'm getting drained already, why did I even choose STEM strand? Oh, yeah, lolo wants me to be a Doctor.
"Tulala ka jan? Iniisip mo si Joaquin?" tanong ni Amaiah
Binato ko siya ng tsinelas, "tanga hindi."
"Napapaisip lang ako kung bakit nga ba ako nag STEM." dugtong ko
"Kasi you want to be a Doctor?" napalingon ako kay Amaiah
I sighed, "you know I really want to be a model."
"Bagay sayo, matangkad ka, napakaganda mo pa." tumayo si Amaiah at lumapit sa akin
Tumabi siya sa akin sa bean bag, "ang dami din napapalingon sayo especially kapag nasa public place tayo."
"Masyado ka talagang observant, Aya." i chuckled
"You can be famous, nafefeel ko." she said
Umiling ako, "ayoko maging sakit sa ulo, lalo na kay lolo."
"Maybe they can change their mind, or not." biglang humina ang tono ng boses niya nung makita niya si lolo na naglalakad papalapit sa amin
Agad akong tumayo at nag mano sa kaniya, "how's your grades Ayela?" he asked
I opened my phone gallery and showed him my grades, "that's good." he said
"Make sure walang line of 8 yan." he tapped my shoulders and went back inside the house
I shoulders dropped when I heard what he said, walang line of 8? Masyado na akong napapagod, I don't even know if I can complete my school works in time this week.
Iniwan ko lang muna si Amaiah sa balcony at pumasok na ako sa kwarto ko, I feel frustrated that's why I opened all of my notes and started to read each copy. Wala nang pumapasok sa utak ko.
Binagsak ko yung hawak ko na printed copy sa study table, napahilamos ako ng mukha gamit ang palad ko. This is the life of being the eldest granddaughter, you're a disgrace sa family if you fail.
I checked my phone and saw a message from Joaquin, agad ko naman itong binuksan.
Joaquin : i'll be studying later, do you wanna join? gmeet?
"Yup sure, you can ask me test questions, that can help." reply ko sa kaniya
Joaquin : that's a great idea, I'll prepare questions for you later.
Joaquin : any plans for today? except studying?
"Nothing, that's all I do. Study." napailing lang ako at nilagay ang phone ko sa tabi ng laptop
Nagsimula ulit ako magbasa ng notes, I also wrote down important key words on sticky notes para lagi kong mababasa even if I'm doing other paper works on my laptop. Lumipas ang isang oras at kalahati, pumasok si Amaiah dito sa kwarto ko at may dalang backpack.
"Dito ka matutulog?" I asked
She dropped her bag beside the extra bed Dad set up for her, "obvious ba?"
Inirapan ko nalang siya at ibinaling ang atensyon ko sa cellphone na hawak ko, Joaquin didn't message me, maybe he's busy.
"Waiting for a message?" tanong ni Amaiah at ngumisi ng nakakaloko
"Ulol." binato ko sa kaniya yung stress ball na hawak ko
Binabato lang namin sa isa't-isa yung bola nang bigla pumasok si mommy sa room ko, may dala siyang food tray full of snacks and drinks.
"Still studying, Yela?" she asked me and gave me a can of soda
I nodded, "I have to prepare for my exams next week."
"How about you, Aya?" lumingon siya sa kaibigan ko
"I'm just preparing my research paper for the upcoming defense, tita." she answered
"Both of you will be great doctors, aim high girls!" mom said and she closed the door of my room
Nakita kong seryoso nakatingin sa akin si Amaiah, "don't. talk. about. it."
Nanatili lang na tahimik si Amaiah at binalik ang atensyon niya sa laptop niya, I grabbed some chips and continued scrolling on instagram.
Joaquin sent you a message.
Agad akong napaayos ng upo sa office chair at binuksan ang message niya, he sent a photo of his study table full of notes.
Joaquin : a little busy, how are you?
Joaquin : mom and I will be going to the mall later, groceries lang.
"I'm fine, a little tired." napalingon ako kay Amaiah na busy parin sa kakatype sa laptop niya
"Have fun grocery shopping with your mom." dagdag ko and i sent the message
Hindi pa nakakalipas ang ilang segundo ay agad siyang nagreply.
Joaquin : i'd love to experience grocery shopping with you someday.
Pinilit kong pigilan matawa, "visit Aklan, maeexperience mo talaga yan with me."
Joaquin : next year, on your 18th birthday.
"Really? Scam ka rin eh." i replied
Joaquin : magugulat ka nalang isang araw tunatawag na ako sayo, then i'll tell you nasa Aklan na ako.
I giggled, "hindi mo naman alam yung exact location ko."
Joaquin : Kalibo, don't test my stalking skills.
Joaquin : ofcourse I saw your location sa facebook profile mo.
Yeah right, nilagay ko nga pala yung exact location kung nasaan ako sa profile ko sa facebook.
But maybe, he's really sincere about meeting me soon. Hindi naman ako pwede mag-assume dahil hindi ko pa siya gaanong kilala, but, maybe?
I turned off my phone at pinatong ko ito sa tabi ng laptop, I had to think straight. I have to remind myself not to get attached no matter what happens, no matter how comfy I feel. Because the last time I got attached, everything fell apart.
