If It's For You, I'll Stay (One-Shot Compilation) | Jenlisa

Desperate

Lisa's Pov

I can't sleep, so i decided to take a walk outside

The moment i passed through Jennie-Unnie's room it made me froze

"Okay, baby. Love you too" I heard she said her voice sounds cheerful as time passes by. I didn't even notice that i'm already a crying mess

Who wouldn't? I've been courting her since two years ago, i've been hiding my true feelings on camera for the sake of our group. Nobody even know i'm doing it for the past two years except Jisoo-Unnie and Chaeng

Giving her flowers, chocolates and everything she need, but she will just put it in the trash while saying hurtful words in return

I've passed trough that part, i mean its okay for me if she'll throw it away, its clearly fine to me if she will just hurt me by her words. Its still fine. Because i'm just her suitor, i'm still courting her

But knowing she's taken already, that's not her fault. Its mine, maybe i'm just too desperate to have her

"Done eavesdropping?" I was slightly startled by the voice behind me. By just hearing those voice i already know who it was, of course it's Jennie

I faced her while giving her a faint smile while she was just there standing still

"You... are already taken" I said but more of a question actually

"Yes i am" She proudly said as i just give her a weak smile. I gently wiped my tears away while still looking at her

"You know what? Look at you now?! You look like sh*t! You look so pathetic!" She yelled im front of my face. I never saw that coming, but anyways i'm already used to it.

Already used to her words

"I know, i know i look so pathetic" I weakly said as i breath heavily

"But what can i do? I like you. No, i already love you" She scoffs as it was her turn

"So you choose to be this desperate?! Huh?! Why didn't you stopped it?! Lisa?! You know i'm straight!, can't you get it?! I can never love you the way you love me, Lisa because you can't change me! And how can i like you huh?! Looking so pathetic?! You're so desperate? You even looked like sh*t day by day!" She paused. Those words somewhat hit me, its like a knife hitting me deeply

"You even went to my photoshoot looking like a total slut who-" I stopped her by firing back. Never in my life i was called a slut, and i didn't and i never expected it to come from her

"I know?!! That why i'm sorry. For being desperate, for embarrassing you, for being pathetic, for being a slut and for everything!!" I yelled on top of my lungs, i just hope that Jisoo-Unnie and Chaeng won't woke up because of my loud voice, hopefully..

"Don't worry, Unnie. I won't bother you ever again, don't worry i won't follow you like a dog again, don't you worry" I told her, but what makes me shocked is because she tried to hold my hand but i keep walking backwards

"L-lis-" I cut her off

"Its okay, Unnie. I already accept the fact that in this life, i won't be having my dreams. I already accept it. Its my fault anyway, i forced my self to you, right?" I said making her tears... wait what? Tears fall?

She's... crying also. Maybe... maybe tears of joy i guess

"L-lis" She tried reaching for my hand

"Tell me, Unnie. Do you even liked me even just a bit?" I asked her making her looked at me

After my question, silence filled the whole dorm, no one dares to ask, no one dares to talk. No footsteps or even the sound of the clock never broke the silence

My tears keep falling as i know what will happen after this

I slowly nod and smiled at her weakly as i finally got her response.

She shook her head, telling me she never had the same feelings and never had even a slight feelings for me. I tightly closed my eyes as my tears keep falling

I felt like hell, i couldn't breath normally

With one last heavy breath i turned around. And started walking away from her when i heard her said

"W-wait. Lisa?!... where the hell are you going?!" Her voice are somewhat sad and nervous. I don't know?

"Its none of your business, Unnie" I coldly said as i started to run outside making my way to my car

I don't know what will happened to me, i mean i'm driving while my vision is getting blurry, i don't even know how i arrived at a nearest bar

With one last breath i entered the bar and started drinking it all like it was all just water. With this pain, it can't help. I can't help to be calm

-

Its almost 3AM when i went out of the bar, i barely walk straight as i keep on walking zigzag. I don't even know how many beers i drank. I mean i literally drank many of it. I will not be like this if i only drank one or two right?

I started the engine and drive as fast as i can back to the dorm, i didn't even mind the traffic lights since it's already dawn, not to many vehicles were traveling at this time, right?

But that's what i thought it is... i'm wrong about it

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Author's note:

I deeply apologize for the grammars. But thank you for reading this, it means a lot to me since i'm just starting to write