Eternal Insanity

I pull over on my way to work, excited to have found a new short-cut now leaving me a good 15 minutes of breathing time. I was just thinking of my need for another house, something small and comforting closer to work. When I see a FOR-SALE sign hanging in front of a white house with a matching fence surrounding the yard, a semi-crumbling sidewalk leading to the decently sized front porch occupied by an empty flower pot. I absolutely love it. Tom can keep the trailer I honestly don’t care; besides I already took the hose to the attic and dumped two cans of melted Crisco down all the sink drains so it’s his problem now. I quickly write down the listed number for offers then inconspicuously checking out the possibilities of new neighbors.

There are two occupied houses I notice right away, the one to my right with five cats laying in the yard and garbage piled up on the porch the yard is patchy and the roof is in serious disrepair. The other house is right across the road, it’s yellow with flower pots overflowing with dark purple morning glories hanging from all the windows I can see from my car. No comparison on which neighbor I’d rather get to know. The other houses seem to be empty except for a few towards the end and I see a moving truck outside one and it looks like the residents are moving out. I look over at the yellow house to see a middle aged woman waving at me from the front window with a friendly smile on her face. Yes this is a possibility that’s becoming more and more attractive.

She attracted my attention as soon as she parked across from my house, I discreetly watched her as she took in the details of the house, the phone numbers listed for potential buyers. She then wrote something down on a piece of paper I can only assume it was the number listed. Hopefully she is planning to call about the house, MY house, which was good, something to await with anticipation. I tried to get a rough estimation of her stature but made no progress since she was sitting down. She looked to the right of the white house that had caught her eye, taking notice with obvious distaste at her future neighbor if she took the bait, frowned with obvious distaste then started to turn my way.

I quickly hid behind the blinds leaving only a small crack of space in between; I make a mental note on how she appraised my home and flowers and will make sure I use that knowledge to my advantage in the future. She turns forwards to start the car and when she looks back I’m there waving like any good neighbor. While she drives away I quickly think of all the different possibilities for the future and they just get better and better.

After work on the way home or to “Tom’s” home I make a mental list on what I need to do in case the house is going to be my future home. I don’t have much clothes and I already broke all the dishes, all I really need to bring is my clothes, bed, and a few other items. I check the time; 6:42 Tom gets home at eight so I would have a little over an hour to get things ready but I have to be careful the last thing I need is him finding out and following me. I’ll call now to see the price and set everything in motion then I’ll slip off into the night and he’ll be none the wiser. I get the paper I wrote the number on and dial. Easy, but I start to worry when no one picks up, then someone suddenly picks up the phone and rudely demands who’s calling

“

Hello, who is this and what do you want?!”

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, and I can call back if this is a bad time”.

There hopefully that will tone down the venom, but it is easier to know how the person whose supposed to be your land lord before they know you’re interested. This house is really the only opportunity I have, so I turn the other cheek and politely ask if this was the number for to the house. So that started our conversation and I found out her name is Lisa and the price (which was way too high) and I’ll be paying monthly checks to pay it all off.

The house is open to me whenever I decide to move in and Lisa will have the electric and everything else turned on tomorrow morning. All I have to do is sign some papers and I’ll start my new life. I still can’t believe my landlord is the kind woman who waved at me from the window yesterday; it was all meant to be.