Torn Among Several Lovers

You don't know what it feels like Pt. 2

Let's back track a little bit. As said my name is Camille and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend, Tony of 5 years.

I believe this is enough for these and those are not necessary or comparable to the troubles within my heart.

Indeedly you don't know what I feels like. One may find me to be just the average love confused adolescent but I always beg to differ because what I feel is real. The question is asked, is it okay to love and want to treat several people the same way at the same time because of your feelings towards them? This four letter word, yes LOVE is such a complicated feeling to explain and is often confused with lust, so won't you agree?

This all started when I was first torn between two lovers, yes two lovers. And this is not your average torn between two lovers situation for it is much more complicated.

Continuing, he swept me off my feet, had my heart racing, my pupils were always enlightened by his sweet spoken words. Oh yes I knew he would be the one for me or so I thought. My best friend at college, she had also moved up with me from high school. This girl Tina we had been through so much together, she was like the sister I never hard except she couldn't because one she really wasnt my sister and two because of the type of love I had for her. Platonic until it sparked and it was no longer platonic, the way I loved her that is. Who knows whether the feelings were mutual? However I felt, all conditions of falling in love with someone, it felt so right.

"How could I not have seen this before? How did this happen? When did it happen?" These and more were the questions which ran through my mind while trying to understand this. Being with a woman was furthest away from my brain which left me in wonders. Could I be g-gay? The words tasted funny on my pallet as I mumbled to myself.

I chuckled it of and scrambled to class. On opening the classroom door, my lover, I mean my bestfriend, she was standing right in front of me. For the first time in my life I felt nervous, I couldn't look her in the eyes, it felt wrong. She smiled as if she had just heard what I was conversing in my heard earlier.

But why would she smile even if she heard such conversation, it would never be a mutual thing. How stupid am I! Why am I even thinking of these things, I can't read minds.

Anyways she was heading out and I was heading in so he greeted each other, hugged and shared hopes to seeing after school. Everything felt different I swear, nothing was the same, my thoughts were just not helping either.

I couldn't focus, that hug she gave me. Oh how she feels so soft. My smile broadened, my eyes well there were just picturing that moment. I might have drooled.

"Day dreaming again Ms. Beaker?" My teacher exclaimed.

Coming back to reality I quickly wiped up. But what an embarrasment, the students were laughing. I asked for a bathroom pass which was gladly granted to me. I rushed out to wash my face and to head back. I couldn't miss class, not for this at least. The last time I day dreamt was when I bumped into Mr. Blue eyed, brown haired charming Prince. He however transfered to another school so my troubles ended really quickly. Yet though I would see him time to time and butterflies would be felt in my belly.

What if he were to come back to town though I thought to myself this could get a whole lot worse.

Back at class we were discussing the play 'A midsummer's nightdream'. Wow indeed Puck is trouble I jokefully said to myself maybe he was the one putting me through such trouble but could I be basing my feelings on past fiction books? Yeah right Puck you're just fiction, no potion is going to make me fall in or out of love.

The bell which saves lives rang and it was now meet my lover time, I mean my bestfriend! Why do I keep doing this!! We have already established I have a boyfriend, we've made it through several years and the history continues. "Camille what is your problem?" My mind spoke back. I blocked my mouth, I must be going crazy, speaking to myself, hearing voices, what's next?

I was now walking with her, a bit nervous but putting that aside.

-No! It can't be!

-"Who is it?" Tina asked

-"Its , it's, never mind I don't think that's him"

- Mr. Blue eyes, you know the rest?

- So it really is him? He's changed a lot, more handsome than before.

- I thought you knew he was returning.

-No I didn't.

It's like someone heard me in the bathroom in my self conversation and told him so my troubles would continue or was it Puck! Puck? Oh please who are you kidding. Maybe this wouldn't be that bad, a diversion probably from my love for my bestfriend? I wish. I wish all this wasn't happening.

Meanwhile in my upstairs conversation, she, my bestfriend was going in about, he must have came back for me because she knew all about it. Why would she encourage this though, knowing I already had someone? However so, you know us friends we just say it how it is. Myself however had been taking a lot said to me lately really serious and maybe just a bit too serious.

For a while I felt like I was myself again until...

Tony came by to pick me up and as usual my bestfriend as well. I could have sworn he heard and saw me giving Mr. Blue eyes ohh such intense eyes. I guess not because he was quite fine. He was usually the type to make everything a problem which was what I believe drawed me away from him a bit. Like come on, I don't see you stare at girls too? Please...!

In the car asking about my day, my answers were very bland and somewhat maybe wasn't even necessary. Tina on the other hand had much to say so she spoke.

I takes alot to suppress feelings and now I understand why. If torn between two loves wasn't enough, how about three? And not only three but more additional lovers?

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The chapters are short to keep your mind stimulated for what's always coming next!

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