Cross Road

Daring Dove

My body is numb;it could be fear,joy or just ater shock.
l can't see anything as lm blinded by the lights,but l can hear screams,shrieks and cries at the same time,it feels like one of those movies were multiple disasters are  happening at same time.
I cover my forehead trying to give my eyes a bit of relief,l mean there's no way l can block  out all that noise. As l get a better view of my surroundings,l see that lm behind a band; Harry's band and nobody notices me, which is great cause l have to run for my life and reputation.
Yes, reputation is somehow involved in this.
I spot harry in the far corner of the stage communicating with one of the audience.
".... now now Merlin you do sound like a stalker"he teases as he moves to the next person, he bends over as she shouts something in his ear and he laughs really hard, l think the joke was good.
He says something in her ear and she responds.
"well, Yvonne this is a family show...."he states as he stands up and heads my direction "....Or is itttttt?".
I take it as my cue to hitch a hike, as l turn and bumb into one of the backsinger's microphone and it falls and lends on the floor with a loud thumb, ' how the hell did it get here?'
At that moment harry sees me and our eyes lock and even from this  distance l can see the beauty of his eyes.
I stood there,' Why  are you not moving stupid?,run for yourself, leave Vanessa and Naledi they will make it they always do. OR just stand there and wait for him to....." My thoughts were interpreted as harry sings in a high pitched tone  "WE HAVE A VISITOR" he definitely can be a weirdo.
I looked away from his eyes as l try to get away.
"Wooh stranger!"okay that's definitely me his talking to.
"come out of your hiding"he indicates me to move as l try to weigh my options, which by the way are 'None'
Feeling defeated l slowly walk forward and meet harry in the middle of the stage,as l appear from the shadows people take my notice the screams get louder and so do the shrieks and cries, and l prayed that after today my ears should still be to hear.
Harry suddenly embraces me into a hug.
'WHAT THE.....?'l mentally scream
'l swear this is a dream and I need to wake up cause l know what happens next......'
my body stiffness at the sudden contact; the next moment l explode with emotion and hormones, he feels so warm and  he's shirt is wet from sweat, l think, but l don't mind,not one bit,l feel his hair on my cheek and neck it feels so soft and wet too; who gives a fuck anyway it only makes him feel sexy, wait did l just?.....
'why is my mind toturing me?'l mentally cry,this is the moment l prefer dreams where you are convincing yourself that your awake but your not and you are doing your loo.
Boom another emotion explodes as l feel his hand on my back and somehow I feel like it needs to be lower. I can't handle this anymore lm losing it, Lord help me just a few more seconds lm sure this toture Will be over.
After what feels like hours of internal toture,he lets go and the audience is DONE, the screams, shrieks and cries turn into what sounds like wolf howls,but it has no effect on me as lm still dazed,l can still smell his sweat and feel his damp shirt and l hope it will never fade.infact the psycopath side of me would not wash this dress ever again.
He looks at the crowd with a huge smile on his face"WOWZAZ Who could she be?" He says as if it's a quiz game.And somehow l fling.
Just play along this is a moment many girls would kill for right here, so l put on a smile for the scavantures.

I look at the white wall as everything that happened yesterday replays in my mind like a movie, a dream movie, meeting harry, totally embarrassing myself infront of him, backstage passes, him singing my favourite song for me while l sat with him on a chair and the whole world watching us; l felt like dying;not in a bad way but well.... when he asked people to guess who l was some screamed:
"Your date!..."
"..... your lover harry!"
"..... someone special to you!"
".....your secret wife..."
The 'secret wife' part was odd, did l look like Tyler swift or any other drop dead models harry goes out with?. first of all lm not skinny nor tall; lm 4,9 on it's on thats depressing,but harry didn't reject nor conform all their theories he just kept laughing and honestly l did know what to feel, l felt like a product, like it was the weirdest thing ever and that got me a headache.
After the concert harry informed vanes Naledi and l that he would ask one of his driver's to take us home, but Vanessa my personal superhero stood her ground as harry kept on insisting after she told him we have a car,he was being normal and cool,not that he'd be affected by me, chances of that are 2 to a thousand:
Don't mind the 2 it's just for hope.

And this is how I ended up here,on my bed staring at nothing trying to imagine what could have been.
"Pathetic"l scolded
"Emmanuel!" I hear my mom's voice calling.
"Ma !" I walk out my room to find her in the bathroom bathing, why does she  do that?, I walk out and close the door lm not really comfortable with seeing people without their wear.
"Yes?"l say standing outside a little irritated cause she knows how l feel about this.
"Get in here l wanna talk to yah"
I sigh cause unless I have money to rent my own place l'll have to do what she wants.l walk in and close the door and stare at her, well more or her forehead and eyes.
"Your Maths teacher called..."she sighs and that can't be a good sign, lve been struggling with maths and it seems like lm not getting better.
"You have to try harder my love...."she states all serious.and l frown
Honestly l can't say anything cause lve tried everything ,l guess l have to ask for some help.
"I'll find someone at campus to help"l state still frowning.
"Yea...."she says hesitant.
"How about you take another course....."
"NO"l state sternly, lately she's been trying to make me give up my course,l have plan B but plan A has completely failed...
"Stop being stubborn...."my mom heats up has l leave the bathroom.
Hours later lm laughing with my brother as l try to distract him he has been asking what happened at the concert, since I didn't tell anyone about it.

After giving up he mumbles"..... cause your gaining weight by the way" and he walks out of my room.
This boy can definitely push my buttons.
I stand up trying to convince myself that his bluffing,l mean l know l haven't been exercising for weeks ,but it can't be that bad right?.
I walk to my full length mirror and stare at a dark skinned ,thick thighed black woman with a small afro, heart shaped full lips and hazel brown eyes.l look down my waist and l nearly lose my balance as l see a little tummy formation.Yep disaster.
At the end of the day l decide to go jogging tomorrow morning cause it's only a matter of time before l get out of shape.
I stare at the the covers of my twilight saga collection, as l mindlessly listen to the voice behind the phone,
"....and he just ghosted, l mean girl these niggas are way above me now... "Vanessa called 10minutes before my nape and now l have 2 minutes left and she's still taking about Lindo not that I mind cause l have no one to talk about in my life,lm not complaining though cause all my friend's relationships are not setting bars.
"... yeah eish, so howz you?"she asks in a teasing tone, l avoid the real question which is of how lm feeling after an emotional rollercoaster concert.
"Nothing much hey, just decided to go back into jogging tomorrow, Tapi is giving me a tough time."l dramatically l sigh as l try to distract her.
"Omg can l join you my tummy and legs are kinda looking...."it worked
"NO!"l scream and l really mean it
"I mean no Vanessa..."l state trying to compose my tone so she isn't offended.
"you and l know your naturally built girl..."l say in a lighter note and  fake a laugh cause l know what vanes wants,   lm every moody when lm in my zone.
"Well....."she says skeptically"if you say so then lm sure your right Master fitness"she teased
"Yeah, yeah. night lve missed a minute of sleep because of you"l state
"Really gal ....."l cut her off and pull my cover over me and absorbed the warmth it provided and l instantly fall asleep.
Krikrikrikrikrikrikr
"Urgh"l moan as l slip out of my bed "stupid alarm"l curse as l switch it off.
I brush my teeth then washed my face wore my Gear jumped over the gate  just to hype myself.

My thighs are on fire my stomach burns l feel like I'm going to puke but my fitness side tells me to keep going to not stop because it's working.
As l keep jogging in the street of Oxford Galilei, l spot a large crowd ahead but my eyes are too burry from the sweat to focus so l cross the street to avoid any delay, as l get closer to the crowd from the other side l noticed that majority of the people there are women and l wonder what is happening,l mean the weather's great, cool and cloudy. There seems to be something happening there but l need to finish my jog so l try focusing on my run but my stupid brains which never minds its own business just pleaded for one more look so l turn my head one more time for a last glimpse, my eyes immediately lock with piercing pear  blue eyes as they stand out in the middle of the crowd . l trip and fall on absolutely nothing.

(Blinded by the lights)The weekend.

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