The Elder Scrolls

SKYRIM Cicero : We've Been Here Before - Part 1

I've been obsessed with Skyrim for the first time in like 9 years, I always loved Cicero even then. There isn't that much in the Internet about him and I wanted to focus more on his depressive mind than how chaotic he is

I've randomly named the Listener Torus, a name I picked from a generator😂
I also made up a background for the Speaker in Cicero's journals, Rasha since there isn't much on wiki
I did not mean for this to be so long, I've had to break it up into parts and if you have read my JoJo book you will notice I'm not particularly great at uploading on time, so please bear with me!

This is set during the "Cure for Madness" quest, there are some spoilers if you haven't gotten that far but I've changed/made up a lot of details . There isn't much interaction with Cicero just yet, either.

"Listener, Listener!" you cried, chasing after him outside of the sanctuary door. Your throat stung from shouting, but you weren't going to give up. Not when the situation had escalated like this. "Torus!"
This time, the Nord heard his name, but it was a good mile or so from the door before he stopped, turning to face you as you caught up, panting against the dry grass. "Torus... Torus... Please listen to me...!"
Of course, he waited. He was the kindest, most understanding Nord you had ever known. Dismounting, he steadied you against his solid figure before questioning what was wrong. At first, he thought you had fled a threat, but then you were babbling something about the jester.
"It's alright, Y/N. Calm down first and catch your breath." You obliged. Taking a pause, the male allowed you to compose yourself. The Listener was so great, truly the best thing to happen to this sanctuary. Astrid tried her best to run the association, but she was too proud to admit when she was losing... Which she was.

Plus, you had history with Cicero. A deep history. You hadn't told her of your past, and didn't intend to. But Torus was different. You trusted him not to use this information against you, like Astrid surely would.

Torus had heard rumours of his own, about you acting strangely recently, from other members in the guild. Even Astrid herself simply put down your off behaviour to current events, but had mentioned you weren't functioning normally. Torus had his suspicions, but didn't really want to drag you into it at this moment.
"Now," he addressed nonetheless, noticeable concern lacing his voice. "What is it you want to tell me?"
Taking a deep breath, you tried not to vomit your words.
Of course, it didn't really work that way. Everything had been getting so on top of you lately, it was no wonder you couldn't calm down.
"I... Overheard your conversation with Astrid and I can't hold back any longer. You won't believe me, but it's unlike Cicero to react like this over nothing. I've known Cicero for years, but Astrid doesn't know that. I couldn't even tell her because she would suspect something untoward and Skyrim was the last place I expected to see him, I swear-!"
"What do you mean?" His tone was stern and authoritive, like that of a true Nord. "Hey, if this is about the jester, explain yourself, woman."
"Ohh, send me instead, perhaps I can talk to him! I'll do anything-!"
Gripping his robes, you hadn't meant to become so emotional. It was no wonder you were aggressively shaken off. You were freaking out. "Torus, don't kill him! Please!!!"
"Whoa, steady now. I'm not going to spill blood if I can help it."
Your face dropped. Was he serious? He wasn't going to end Cicero's life?
"Forgive me. I really wasn't eavesdropping on purpose! I just overheard and-"
"Settle down. You're being erratic." Holding his palm out to hush you he expected a frosty reception back. Instead, his soothing words were met with a sigh, your eyes weighed down by the mass of memories in your mind. "There's no need to look so upset, Sister. What exactly is your reasoning for all of this?"
There was a silence as you bit your lip, shrinking down. It hung over the two of you uncomfortably.
Torus knew where this was going, and frankly, you felt as if you had been... Found out.
"You aren't really involved with this clown are you? Is that why you don't want me to kill Cicero?"
A sigh of relief left your lips. For the first time in years, you could finally tell someone how you felt.
"No, I'm not. But we used to be, back in Cyrodiil. He hasn't said a word to me since being here. Too occupied with that dusty, old corpse, probably." Matching gazes, you simply nodded. Rambling wasn't getting your point across. "It is as you say, Listener. I am unable to betray my heart, even as an assassin."