Haikyuu!! One Shots

Tsukishima - Hurt

Angst

TW- slight suicidal thoughts, talk of death, toxic traits, sorta body shaming (only once)

Just to clarify, I don't think that Tsukki would be like this! This is just a story!

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You should have known. You should have been smarter. You knew, in the back of your mind, that you had made the wrong decision.

You shouldn't have let him back in.

He hurt you. Made you question yourself and your relationship the whole time. A bunch of mixed messages and forced words. Meaningless promises and fake smiles. He confused you.

You regret taking him back. He had promised that he had changed. That he would love you more than anyone. That he cared.

In the beginning, it was great. He was a second year, you a first. You had seen him walking around the school, always followed by a green-haired freckled boy, who you later found out was called Yamaguchi. He carried so much confidence. Always standing tall, hands casually slipped into the pockets of his trousers with headphones resting around his neck. You had noticed his eyes were dull, bored and uninterested. You had become determined to see those eyes come to life.

After finding out that he visited the local library every Wednesday evening, you made it your point to show up as well. It had started with small questions, like asking where certain books were kept, or what he recommended for certain subjects. Eventually you had made your way to his usual table, creating often small talk and helping each other with difficult questions. He didn't mind your presence, it was almost comforting to have someone around him, and as harsh as it may sound, he enjoyed having someone other than Tadashi around him.

It had slipped out by accident. The question came out before you could stop yourself, but much to your relief, he answered easily, completely unfazed.

"No, I don't have a girlfriend. I've never felt the need to involve myself in that social sector"

You had to try and hide your smile at his confession. Single. You hadn't paid any mind to his last sentence, although you wish you had.

It was not long after until you had gained the courage to ask him. You were both sitting at the usual table, both studying different things yet occasionally helping each other out. Drawing in a deep breath, you had called out his name causing him to lift up his head from his notes, using his middle finger to put up his slipping glasses.

"Yeah?"

"Umm.. I-i umm"

"What? What is it?"

"Would you be interested in maybe going out on a date sometime?" You had rushed out, your body tight and your eyes squeezed shut. When he hadn't answered, you opened your eyes cautiously, only to be met with a plain unreadable look.

"Okay" He had replied bluntly before returning to his studies.

You had gone on a simple cafe date, which mainly consisted of you talking besides from the odd comment from the blonde male.

You were blinded. Blinded by the idea of a relationship to really realise Tsukishima's disinterest. You hadn't noticed the way he would cut your text conversations short. Or the way he never texted first. Or the way he wouldn't talk to you or come up to you in school. Or the way he wouldn't hold your hand as you walked home. You just hadn't noticed.

You had told him you loved him. He didn't reply with the same words, only saying 'love you too' instead. There was no 'I' in that phrase, which you thought reduced the meaning behind them.