Her Broken Dream [√]

Chapter 38 : " Be Selfish with Me "

And we reached the end , let me grab my tissues because it is finally over and I don't want to let go of them yet. Okay who wants to read my boring note , so I end it with a Thank You for everyone who have been along with me on this journey till now .

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"Can we talk tonight?" Gauri spoke up once Rahul was settled in his bed and Arnav was about to leave for home, his cousin got married just today and he may go back to being not married today as well. But he knew Gauri had made up her mind, he had noticed it even during the wedding and for someone who loves her so much, he had no idea what she decided on yet but the fact she insist the talk should be today didn't really make him happy.

If she was going to say yes to stay in the Marriage, can't it wait. Yet he didn't voice out anything as he only nodded his head in answer. If she was going to break his heart, might as well get it over with because he wasn't going to give up on them yet. But he will listen to her rejection and see why she fears they may not work.

"Not here. Can we go for a short ride ? " Gauri asked him once he brought her to garden, the place which still held so many memories with her.  

"If you are tired we can do it tomorrow" Gauri spoke up at his hesitance, he was tired but also bit scared and he could take Gauri way out, she was always like that putting others concern before her but he knew she won't likely be able to sleep without talking it out and he didn't want her to spend another night agonizing over this talk.

So they went for a short ride in silence, until they reached the beach. It wasn't fully deserted yet but it was close to 11 PM  that they were still few people around. She walked beside him without a word and he knew she was struggling to let him down without breaking his heart. But it was too late, his heart broke about six years ago when he made decision that changed their course of life. 

And it was because of that he had to voice it out in the open instead of her, because he knew it was breaking her apart by the still silence in her. The only other time, he saw her like it was when he had been a fool and refused to listen to her about their future, why had he been so adamant that being three years older made him more wise.

" You don't think it could work between us ? " he asked her instead and she looked at him for a few  seconds and then nodded her head in answer

"May I ask why ? " he asked her when he realized opening the topic wasn't enough to make her talk either.

" I won't make you happy " Gauri answered back as if that was an answer enough. Maybe she wasn't going to talk in more than few words with him, maybe she had been hoping this time as well Arnav take her answer and walk away, after all he did one time ago. If he could walk away from her once why not again. 

" You make me happy Gauri, more than I can express, do you know for the first time I woke up today with a smile on my face even when my leg was aching so bad, do you know how empty I felt without you in my life, do you know what made me so unhappy when I came back home, in arrogance that I could win you back four years ago only to learn you were married already. do you know what made me so unhappy was every day in the past six years living without you, knowing that I had known what I need in my life to be happy and then foolishly losing you because I didn't know how to hold on to you " Arnav spoke up and he could have said a whole lot more, if not for the tears that fell rapidly from her eyes, he didn't want to make her cry never that.

"But I can't be your wife Arnav, not in any real sense. What kind of Marriage it will be when there can be any real connection between us " Gauri answered back as she furiously wiped her tears trying not to cry but he couldn't see her cry like this as if she really believed those words, so he closed his hand around her shoulders and held her in an embrace and allowed her to cry because he knew it took so much from her to tell him.