101 Ways to Stand In

I feel like I'm standing on top of the world. But I'm still at the bottom. I sit at the lunch table, munching down on a pizza slice. I think to myself, "Do you think Rimi wants you at her table?"

No...no she's popular. I'm...me...not one of them. Lance hates me, and the other kids: Kate and Shane all of them... They probably don't even know me. I don't know what's gotten to me. And at that moment, I especially wondered what I was doing. I hadn't realized what I'd just done until I was sitting next to Rimi.

Everyone got silent. I was an outcast. I looked around the table. Some gave me strange looks, like I had somehow interrupted their conversations. But Rimi turned and said "Hi, Will. Why are you sitting here...?"

"Um..." I replied. I had to lie... "My friends went somewhere upstairs and I had no one to sit with." Lie.

"Oh..." She replied. Before she could suggest something, Lance spoke up and with a hard hand to the face said "Well why don't you go find your nerd friends and get a life sometime?"

It hurt. A punch in the gut, a stab to the shoulder. But I had to sit here.

"Lance! Stop it. Will, I'm sorry" Rimi began "But we sort of need some privacy. We are trying to plan my birthday party-"

"Could I come!?" It just came out. I didn't mean to. It just slipped. I had to resist instinctively covering my mouth when she looked at some of the other girls.

"No...sorry I would invite you but all of my invitations are sent. I can only have 5 people. Maybe next year?"

Yeah. "Sure. Uh, happy birthday." Lance chuckled an whispered something in Shane's ear. They both had a hysterical moment and dismissed me. I walked away quickly, tears forming. I've ruined my high school years. Forever.

•••

I sit on my bed, my cell phone in hand. No one will call. No one will text. But it's something I need in my hand at all times so my mom and father thinks I'm social. I know it's wrong, but it's the only way for my parents to keep me in their home. I cry and cry, a pillow buried in my face. I look at my reflection on the screen. My long face makes me look twice as sad. Brown hair leaks down below my eyes. My blue eyes don't match my sun-kissed skin. I am ugly through and through. To any person. I stand up and begin to walk out of the room. But as my hand settles on the knob, my other begins to vibrate. My eyebrows crook inward, confusion filling my mind. I look down. An unknown number is on the screen, and I look at the message.

'Meet me at Clutter Alley at 11. I want to talk about today. Im so sry. -Rimi