Modeling with one direction

Secrets oh secrets

It was about 5 o'clock and it was darkening outside, and the cloudy weather added to the gloominess. Which to me was perfect. I had just finished the photoshoot for today, which was exhausting. I must've tried on over 15 different outfits! I forced my tired body up into the elevator, as jet lag was finally hitting me. Back home would be about 8 am which would mean I would still be in bed, but no I'm in London at a photoshoot. As I walked into the elevator I examined my reflection on the Mirror walls; I was wearing my pajamas again. I yawned as a person walked in, Louis.

"AUDDIE THERE YOU ARE!"

"Hey Louis" I whispered softly as I leaned against the wall. He walked up to me and rested his hand on my forehead, "are you okay? Are you sick?"

I chuckeled softy , "oh no I just hit jet lag that's all"

"Ah jet lags a bloody mess isn't it?"

I nodded as he let me lean my petite body against his muscular torso.

"Are you visiting el?" I murmured into his hoodie.

"Yes love. The boys are coming too, if you don't mind?"

"Do you mind if I just sleep?"

"Of course you can, how much sleep have you had?"

"Uh...." I thought it over in my head, "I haven't slept in the last 36 hours.."

"Bloody hell autumn! You need your beauty sleep!"

I scrunched my nose, "are you saying I'm not beautiful?"

"No that's not what I said!" He screamed defensively.

"It's okay I wouldn't have even cared" I yawned again as the elevator clicked open on our floor.

"Why would you say that?" He asked questionably as he pulled my little body out of the elevator.

"Just because its been a whole since I've really cared about anything..." I quietly said. It was true. Sometimes I wondered if other people felt this way... its like one morning you wake up, and you realize you don't care anymore. Not about one thing, but everything. You walk around that day trying to have some sort of feeling to tell you alive, you cause drama because you want to feel something, but then you go home and you realize that you felt nothing, that you're emotionless. Then that day becomes a few days ago, weeks ago, months ago, a few years ago even and finally you realize this is forever. Forever that you'll be emotionless. The worst part is that I'm so young, and yet I feel as if I'm done with my life. Like I have no reason to be here anymore.

"Wait you've been feeling this way for how long??" He asked. Oh shit...

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked. My attention suddenly sturdied onto Louis. We both stopped mid hallway.

"Yes. Now tell me" he asked concerned, yet harshly.

"I guess... Well since September 2010.."

"What happened then?"

"Nothing. It's just one day I woke up that month and stopped feeling, or really caring"

He scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Have you talked to a doctor or your parents?"

I shrugged my shoulder. "No. My parents and I aren't close at all. They're never home, my dad hates me. My mom talks to me once in a while. If I went to a doctor they would find out and call me a drama queen." I continued to walk away.

He grabbed my shoulder to stop me, "so what have you done... To errr feel better?" He asked awkwardly.

"You mean like cut?" His eyes looked into mine, piercing, as if begging for me to say no.