A spectacular musical (A Rosyclozy fan Fiction) |Jander|

A vent: whats really going on

Hey...its me..sorry if I haven't been posting but let me explain.

                    My true story

So as I'm typing I'm actually crying because of who I am. I hate myself for being a sin and not being someone that God warned me to be. In 5th grade I had suicidal thoughts of jumping of the golden gate bridge. I live in California so yeah. I used to draw pictures of myself jumping of the bridge.

One day my mother found one of my pictures and showed my dad. They talked to me about but I just said I was "fine" and I didn't really mean it. They believed me. Now when I was younger my parents used to fight. A lot. And the only good memory I have of my parents was when for my 8th brithday we went to a amusement park as a family. I was happy. I finally felt normal. Have normal parents and we all had fun. Real fun. I will never forget that day.

I actually never knew both of my parents did drugs when they were together. I thought it was just my dad. But no. Also my mom. I was only a 6 year old and sometimes they would act..weird. One time I was playing with my animal toys while singing. And out of nowhere my dad yelled "SHUT UP! your so loud damn..." I stood quite.

My mom would over react of everything. So would my dad. Why did they love eachother then? Why did they have me if they didn't ever love eachother? It's my fault..isn't it?

After my parents separated I stood with my mom as we went to one place to another. I always had different nest best friends every school year because me and my "bestfriend" would always fight and not be friends anymore. Which made me sit alone in the bathroom during recess and lunch. Well until I meet my current bestfriend.

I made a lot of friends along the way and my mom got a new bf at the time! He was super nice and seemed like my big brother! His name was John. After awhile John and my mom went separate ways well..until...he died...
I'm not going into it but he was murdered. Got shot 6 times in the chest. The guy that killed John was arrested one year after his death.

After I heard the news...I was numb..I did cry really hard once. But after I was numb. The world gave me a little reminder that the world isn't all cupcakes and rainbows! There are people you ganna lose and you cant do anything about it. I started to change. Once school started up I kinda felt I wasn't being my true self.

It finally clicked to me that I was wrong when I did something I wasn't supposed to do...*sigh* I told a rumor about a classmate of mine...I know who ever is reading this is probably disgusted of me. I could already feel the hate comments coming in. Feel free to unfollow me, it's fine as long as your happy...

I said sorry to the person, lucky he forgave me but I just feel so guilty and how did this side of my come out. Ashton is your reading this its Virginia. I'm sorry about what I did in 6th grade and ik actions speak louder then words.

Now I'm in a really dark place right now. I feel that God hates me for being pansexual. My dad is a religious guy so you already know. My mom accepts me I just fell like I dont belong. You know what I watch when I'm sad. The amazing world of Gumball. You probably know I'm a fan of that show and probably get annoyed when I bring it up. But I'm going to tell you what that show really means to me..

Gumball is the main character with his adopted brother Darwin. The way they are, they way they have confidence. They have a perfect and normal family. No yelling or hated just..happiness. If there world was real I would go there I feel like I wouldn've belonged there. I also love the show because they say in one episode "no love is wrong" then they showed a woman and woman hugging and a man and a man hugging. That really made me really happy.

They also have gay and bisexual characters in the,show like Gumball is bisexual and Tobias is gay. U mean its pretty obvious but just- their world accepts them and doesn't care. But in this world its different.

This is the biggest secret if mine...and I'm going to say it...

I want to be the "hero" of the story

Ik its not a secret more like dream but yeah. I  never told anyone. I just want to inspire people but their "hero" and just make people laugh. Making people laugh is what brings me happiness most in this world. So I'm 12 so I still got a whole life to live.

I have a dream...

That one day this world this world would get together hold hands and sing in harmony...that warm fuzzy feeling and just smiling knowing you would never have to worry every again...

I'm going to make my own animation company called "RainbowAnimations" I'm going to create one of the first LGBTQ+ cartoon called. "Those kids on Willowtin street" inspired by "the amazing world of Gumball"

Thank you Gumball and Darwin even if you dont exist at least we could see eachother though a screen.

My names Virginia...and I'll see you in the future...thank you for reading. . .

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