Life is hard. I get that. And I'm not one to compare other people's problems with my own and saying their more or less valid. But! I truly believe I have the worst problem imaginable.
Let's say you're drowning, you can swim to the surface, breath, get out of the pool. Wrong. You can't swim. So you simply make a fuss in the water until someone grabs your arm and saves you. Wrong again, you have no arms. You furiously kick and bounce on the pool's floor until someone dives in, grabs you and pulls you so safety. Wrong once again. You have no legs. So you scream, as loud as possible just before you sink, someone hears and saves you. Wrong AGAIN. you have no head.
You wiggle in the water, again, making a fuss. Someone notices and saves you. Incorrect. But you guessed this one right, life only gets more complicated. You are unable to wiggle because someone has come along, gotten hungry and eaten half of your body. So, of course, you only have one option. Flap like a manta ray. You do so until mister lord and saviour sees you, saves you, and gives you a kiss. WRONG! You are stiff as a board, unable to flap and ugly, he wouldn't even put his face anywhere near you. What do you do now? You can't swim, make a fuss, kick and bounce, scream, wiggle, or flap.
Well lucky for you, your body is orange. People will for sure notice you then? Wrong, you are too small for people to notice your orange. Lucky for you the pool is clean and you're the only thing left in the pool, someone has to notice you then! You're right, people do notice you. But due to your odd colour and bend of light under the water's surface you look like a shit.
No one wants to save a piece of poo lookalike, let a lone get in the pool. Your life seems to be crumbling around you. Gentle waves of water pushes you further and further from safety. Is this the end? Am I going to be known as the shit in the pool?
Yes. Yes you are.
People are taking photos now. Not because your a model, because you look like a turd in the pool. They don't want your autograph. They want to laugh at you and show pics to all their friends. How dare you even think about getting your hopes up.
You are nothing more than a half eaten carrot.
