Is it the people?
Is it the room that looks the same?
The party had taken a full swig hours ago, but it looked like it was nowhere near dying out.
The conversations?
'Cause I thought I heard your name
Everyone looked so happy. Glancing around, I take delight as I watched everybody have the greatest time of their lives.
Or just illusions?
Somehow, I just can't explain
What reminds me of you
Deciding to go out for some fresh air, I got up and head towards the garden, simultaneously declining all invitations to the dance floor.
Am I lonely?
Is it really you I'm missing
Pushing through the door, I greeted the cold night air with a slight tug of my coat before proceeding to take the path leading to the back of the house.
Or just somebody?
I think I've got mixed feelings
With Bacardi
Looking up, I halted from my steps, the view of the night sky full of stars left me feeling unsettled.
Somehow I just can't explain
'Cause I don't want me to want you
Somehow looking at the stars made me think about you, including all those nights we spent together under their watchful gaze.
It's getting late and
People heading off
Right then and there I debated going back inside. To avoid the memories. To escape the feelings, I’ve done so much to suppress.
Neighbors complainin'
And the music stops
I brushed my hands through my hair, silently frustrated with the way my thoughts were going before letting out a sigh and continuing my walk.
But here I'm waiting
For you to show up
Like that would happen, mm-hm
My walk around the garden was rather uneventful aside from the short trip to memory lane. Not that I had expected something (or someone) to happen or miraculously appear.
I can't remember
The reasons we broke up
But just as I passed the front porch of the house, like fate playing a cruel joke on me, you appeared.
I just remember (I just remember)
All of the good stuff
We both froze, neither of us expecting to see each other. Not knowing what else to do, I lifted my hand giving a slight wave.
So can I call you (can I call you)
So you can remind me
Why we ended it
Just as you were about to lift your hand and wave back, the door opened filling the awkward silence with the music coming from the party.
Oh, I try not to think about what she's like
And I try not to wonder where you've been
Somebody had dragged you inside, and before I knew it you were gone just as you had appeared.
And I try to have a drink, toss it back, I don't wanna think
I really try not to miss you, but in the end
I do
I allowed myself a few seconds of staring at the empty space you were once in, before letting my hand fall to the side and continue the path home.
The party's over
And I'm scared to feel the same way
The walk home was by far the fastest one I’ve taken. I didn’t know how I managed to get home but I did. And once in bed, I finally let my thoughts run loose.
When I wake up
When I'm sober and it's Sunday
I’ve always known that I needed to confront my feelings one day, but I never thought it would happen in the way that it did.
Will I miss you
When I'm lonely in my bed?
I’ve always prided myself for being strong and content with my own company.
Or will I feel like
I'll be okay?
However, I’d hate to admit but hearing the soft howls of the wind and the faint chirping of the crickets coming from outside had made me feel quite lonesome.
Especially after seeing you tonight.
