A Secret Worth Keeping

Chapter 1

Danielle woke to a soft morning light streaming through the curtains. It took a moment for her to right herself, realizing she was not in her own bed at home. As her sleepy mind tried to figure out how she ended up here, it all came rushing back; the night before, the wine, the nerves, words spoken that she never thought she'd be brave enough to say...she knew exactly where she was!

Slowly, as if not to break free from what she felt was a dream, Danielle turned her face to the left and smiled at what was in front of her. This indeed was not a dream! Lying in the bed next to her was beautiful Stefania, still sleeping soundly, hair in disarray, hands clasped and tucked under her chin, and an expression of pure contentment and peace on her face. Danielle couldn't help but be mesmerized, simply staring at the Italian for a few moments. How could someone look so beautiful, even while she was sleeping?! But the question didn't last long...of course she was beautiful. Every bit of Stefania was beautiful...inside and out. Her Stefania. Danielle's smile turned into a full-faced grin at this thought: her Stefania. The joy that bubbled up inside her was aching to be let out in a laugh, but fearing she'd wake the sleeping beauty, Danielle calmed her excitement and tried to lay as still as she could, letting the memories of the previous night wash over her again...

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

(The previous evening)

Danielle glanced at her watch as she tiredly jogged back to her trailer. 6:47PM, it read. She'd had been a long day on set, which left her slightly grumpy; not at anything in particular, but there were a lot of tough scenes to work through and she was exhausted. Getting home, hopping into a warm shower, and relaxing for a couple of hours before heading to bed for sounded pretty amazing right about now. Surely that would fix her mood. Or that's what Danielle tried to tell herself...yet, deep down she knew there was still a nagging sadness that added to her mood. She had been struggling for a few days with a lot of thoughts and emotions, trying to make sense of how things were changing in her life. Up until a month or two ago, her life had been going pretty well, despite being in the middle of a global pandemic! She'd thrown herself into working on the new house, finding the work cathartic and calming her stress over worries about the pandemic; she'd been able to use the unexpected free time to meditate more; and to top it all off, an epic RV trip across the States with Alisha had been the adventure Danielle needed to refresh her soul. Yet, here she was, still trying to figure out what her soul and heart were missing. Danielle had a good idea of what her heart really wanted, but her thoughts and insecurities had been constantly trying to stamp out her desire. "No, I have to be professional", she thought, "besides, there's no way it would work". If only she could...

Danielle's introspective reverie was broken by the sound of three quick knocks on her trailer door. She jumped up, realizing she must have spent the last several minutes just sitting on the edge of the couch, wrapped up in her thoughts.

As she swung the door open, Danielle met a bright, smiling face and twinkly brown eyes: Stefania stood bouncing on her toes, apparently much more energetic than Danielle felt!

"Bella! I just wanted to come find you. Are you done on set for the night?"

"Yes, thank goodness, I am" Danielle sighed, feeling some of her stress begin to ebb away.

"Excellent!" Stefania chirped, "I was wondering if you'd like to come over for a little bit?"

The question hung in the air as Danielle tried to convince herself that she'd probably be better sticking to her plan of an early night. Yet, here was her co-star and friend, offering up a very tempting opportunity. Danielle knew she couldn't say no to spending more time with Stefania. After all, they really hadn't had many scenes together yet, so time on-set to catch up on each other's lives had been pretty limited.

"I made tiramisu..." trailed off the Italian, trying to use her most convincing voice in three words.

"Wait, homemade tiramisu?!"

"Si," smiled the brunette "and honestly, if I don't have someone else help me finish it, I'm going to need wardrobe to order a new size of scrubs!" she laughed.

"Oh Stefania, stop!", laughed Danielle, "with the way your body looks, I'd-..." she stopped abruptly, realizing what she'd been about to say.

"You'd do what, Bella?" Stefania stood still, her voice dropping an octave lower, and a subtle smirk appeared on your face.

"I, um, I..." Danielle stepped outside and spun around to lock the door, fumbling with her keys. She needed something- anything- to distract herself from being any more flustered, and to give herself an excuse to hide her flaming face. "Get it together, Savre" she chided herself. "I just mean I'm sure it'd take a lot of tiramisu to make any difference!" successfully covering up her embarrassing slip, or so she thought. "But, although it'd be a terrible trial, I'll help you finish it", joked the blonde.

"I knew you'd be easy to convince" laughed the brunette, as they headed towards their cars. "See you in twenty?"

"Definitely!" Danielle flashed Stefania another bright smile as she slid into her car. Surprised, with the level of energy she felt, but not surprised by how quickly her heart was racing.

As Danielle drove, her earlier thoughts tumbled into her mind. She knew it was time she admitted to herself just how she felt about Stefania. She loved her. The admission made her gulp, and she felt a tightness in her chest. But it was true. "I love Stefania". The whispered words were for no one but herself, but Danielle knew when she said them this time, it was different. She had said them so many times before: to the fans on Instagram Lives, to Stefania herself, to Barrett when they were talking about how much they love their team on Station 19. But all of those times she had been speaking of platonic friendship and appreciation...or at least, that's what she'd always told herself. But now, admitting to herself the meaning and true feeling behind those words, Danielle had never been so sure about anything in her life. She was in love with the beautiful Italian.

But how on Earth would she tell Stefania? Did she even want to bring it up? She knew the Italian loved her, but it had been so hard to tell if it was just her way of expressing friendship, developed through their chemistry as characters on Station 19, or if it was something more personal altogether. Then again, there had been times it seemed like Stefania had been dropping some pretty big hints, and they had become much more touchy lately, feeling so much at home in each other's arms. Danielle countered these thoughts with the fact that their top love languages included physical touch, and that they had to maintain an intimate relationship on camera so it made sense their actions would just naturally spill into their personal lives. 

Before she knew it, Danielle was turning onto the street Stefania's new house was on. Her nerves and excitement rose, as her hands suddenly felt sweaty on the steering wheel. But as her mind was racing and doubting thoughts wrestled for attention, she felt a sudden peace wash over her, as if even her body knew it could let go of the secret her mind and heart had been carrying for so many months.