Until I met him

Last days

I am lying on my bed while my mother is feeding me the usual yellow gooey stuff. That stuff tastes like rotten eggs mixed with cowdungs. It's smell is unbearable and so is it's appearance, but as I couldn't digest anything else, I had to eat it. I said
“Maa, what is it?”
“Pumpkin with lemon”
“Really? Who created this hell of a thing?”
“The person who never knew cooking” my mother said and I laughed and coughed at the same time. All the pumpkin stuff that I ate came out of my mouth. My mother started cleaning my vomit but I stopped her
“Don't, d..don't clean it, I...I'll clean it myself” I said and got up but I fell back . “Don't get up, I'll handle this ” my mother said and wiped up my vomit with a dirty cloth.
“Sh*t, now I can't even clean my own vomit” I cursed.
“Baby, it's not your fault”
“But killing Maya was my fault”
“Tanya! Don't ever say that!” my mother scolded me and I started crying.
“Oh, don't cry, nothing is your fault, it's just we aren't that graceful enough to handle a child, we should have paid more attention to you”
“Maa, don't say so, I love you”
“I love you too baby, I am just sad that we have to lose you too”
“I am not going anywhere, I'll still haunt you when I become a ghost.”
and we laughed. Sometimes a good laugh is all you need.
In the evening Samar came by with his girlfriend.  I admit I was shocked to see Naina, his girlfriend. She has long brown hair and a slim body. Everything about her is perfect,except the makeup she wore all over her face. I never expected her to ever meet me, personally, but I think death does that thing to people,sometimes.
“Hi, how are you?” Naina said in her hot voice. Now I know why Samar fell for her, she has a pretty good voice.
“Just dying” I replied.
“Samar told me about you, you are a pretty tough fighter, you'll fight this war too”

That's the problem with cancer. Everyone thinks that we are tough, we are fighters and we can survive this war but No. We are not fighters. Though it's true that we have to be brave to make others happy but still the real fight is not with the disease but with our own mind that creates scenarios about our death and beleive me, it's difficult to win that war.

“Hey! Let her rest, we were just here check on Aunty” said Samar.
“Dont worry, I am fine!” I said but my mind didn't agree. Deep down I knew I am dying but still I'll put on fake smiles on my face as I don't want my kin to feel horrible because of me.

After Samar and Naina left, my mother fed me my medicines( which of course, were useless) . Just then the door bell rang and my mother went to see who's there. After sometime, she said “It's Karan” Why is he here? I don't want to hurt him. But I'll have to do this sometime or the other. I would have to tell him the truth about my condition. I think the wish that I made at the water fountain went wrong or it became true as finally death is making us apart, that fountain really was magical. He changed my life, until I met him, I was just a weird , meek kid. But the day I fell for him, my life changed. I started making new friends, knowing others and learnt to know the power of love. I even befriended some of his friends and they seemed to like me. I never knew that love can be so strong, that it can make or break one's life but now I understand it. Though, I am weak but still, after all these things,I love him, I love him a lot, but will he still love me after knowing my condition? Or will he leave me? Just thinking about it makes my body shiver, but I'll have to accept the truth and confess it in front of him. So, I said to my mother“Let him in”.