Luminescent Ministories

Imperfections

Despite how I write Rin and everyone's thoughts of Rin being perfect, he still has a lot of issues. Here, you get to see how his lovers deal with those issues behind the scenes and the cons of certain relationship dynamics.

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Mephisto had once said that a human soul in a demon's body was the closest anyone could ever get to the perfect being under God and his angels.

But a human soul conflicting with the needs of a demon were difficult to deal with. Even when his body was disguised and sealed to be mostly human, there were problems with Rin.

Often one of his lovers or Shiemi would find him in a state of seeming insanity as he rocked in the fetal position and muttered to himself. It was really him doing his best to restrain himself and the whatever demonic urge struck him that day–either to kill the thing annoying him or to destroy everything around him in rage when he couldn't get someone to understand something that seemed so simple to him.

He'd take deep breaths as he rocked, curled up with his knees held to his chest, like he was trying to calm down. Mephisto told him that he wouldn't be able to calm down until the need for destruction was sated or someone was able to cheer him up enough to not care about the problem anymore, but it helped him not just blindly burn everyone and everything around him in a rage thay consisted of him blacking out and waking up in the middle of a disaster.

"Rin? What's wrong?" Bon asked carefully. He'd long since learned to not ask if Rin was okay. Rin was never okay. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders that he never asked for. It was hard for him to even be fully there when spending time with his lovers because so many things required his attention and he was afraid to look away from them for even a second. Bon understood it, so he was never angry over it.

"Shura wanted to train and when I said no, she wouldn't accept it." The boy muttered sourly, hands flexing so his claws dug into his legs. That was another habit–Rin would year things up just to date the urge to destroy. He'd rather inflict it on his own body than anyone he cared about, even if he was angry at them. Except Mephisto, of course. He would tear Mephisto apart easily of the man pissed him off. Maybe it was because he was the one who'd made Rin's life so difficult in the first place and even though Rin forgave him for it, some part of him still seemed to want revenge for it.

"Got tired of swords, huh?" Bon sat down next to him, not touching him, but close enough to feel the angry warmth radiating off of his boyfriend's body. "I....I know having a sword to fight with is useful, but tearing things up with just my body is so much easier and the urges never go away." Rin sighed, frustrated. He wasn't far from pulling at his hair like he did sometimes and Bon very gently placed his hands on top of Rin's. His hands were warm, they were always warm now that he was merged with Karura. Rin seemed to enjoy the warmth a lot and loved snuggling up to Bon the most.

Instead if pulling away like he sometimes did, Rin's hands relaxed and stopped flexing to dig his claws into his calves. He was breathing more regularly now, good.

"Being raised human was probably pretty bad for you, huh?" Bon prompted. It helped Rin to say things out loud to people when he was frustrated like this.

"I...It was so frustrating! Dad–Shiro–just never understood what I was saying, I'd maybe he just refuses to listen because he knew it was a demon thing and he was trying so hard to force me to be human and I just couldn't!" Angry tears were gathering in his eyes and he dug his claws back in and his eyebrows furrowed abd his lips pulled into a deep frown. Rin's claws were deep e pugh to be scraping bone, but Bon knew better than to try and stop him from doing it. The pain kept Rin grounded. Pulling his claws away would only get Bon a vicious snarl and Rin stomping away to be with Shiemi until he calmed down. He couldn't be around Amaimon or Mephisto when he was angry most of the time uness it was a case of Rin itching to destroy something and them talking him down and soothing him. Something about their presences just set him off most times. Maybe it was jealousy over them getting to know exactly who and what they were from the start and understanding everything that happened well written remained confused to this day and still struggled to understand a lot of things.