Tommy and tubbo! Angst

You tommy

Warnings:

Self hate

Tobys POV
I stutter "you were there, and you were so, so... mean, I went in for a hug. And you just juked me. And I fell."

I see his face and how bothered he is. "I-I'm sorry Tommy I should've not told you I can see your bothered." I stand up hearing the bed creak.

I hear the bed creak again. Then a hug from the back. I look down with my arms slightly up cause of the shock.

I escape from his arms. I see his eyes. He's almost in tears . The bottom of his palm of his hand on his right eye, trying to hide the fact that he's crying.

I break down again and hug him saying sorry for telling him this.

The voice in my head it was loud and echoey. "You really ruined his day huh? He's gonna fail school because of you. You two both skipped school, imagine the trouble your gonna get him in?" I let go of the hug. I look at him grab my bag and run out the door. "Toby what are you doing? What did I say in that dream!" I look back "you said I wasn't good enough, and so many other horrible things..." and l stood there on his brick path, hearing the birds, the wind in my eyes, in the air, I hear it shake the trees, the leaves slowly scraping the ground as they land. The squirrels scattering on the branches, the cars driving by, it felt like I could hear the tears dropping to the floor from both of us. I felt like everything was in slow motion. It was like a drawing, everything so vibrant, the tears blue. The grass so green, the sky so clear. As I snap back to reality I realize that Tommy has dragged me back inside, shaking me to zone back in.

"Toby! Toby!" I start to blink rapidly. "Huh?" With tears STILL in my eyes. I was leaning against the front door, Tommy is clearly worried.

"I'm calling mom" he walks away and calls his mom. "Hey mum, can Toby stay the night? Mhm yea can you text his mom I don't have he number... yes yes I know I'm not in school, it's just about Toby I really think he should stay the night or two... or 3." Three minutes pass. "Ok, got it thanks." I see him walk back to me. Your staying over. Let's go to your house and pack your shit.

We walk down to my house. I'm still in shock. He cares about me this much. Then I remember the blood on my door is still there. I can't let him in the house no matter what.

We meet my house. Walking up to the drive way. "Uh Tommy I'll be right back I guess." I start to turn "no I'm coming with" he says, "heh heh wot?" I say Nervously

"I don't want any tricks pulled. I'm coming with you."

"O-oh okay..." I stutter

We walk up to my house and I go through the door, Tommy follows "maybe you can stay here?..." we sit by my kitchen table. He thinks "fine but be back quick, I'm gonna steal a drink."

I walk up stairs hoping that he won't follow, I put down my bag to pack my stuff, enough for a week. And i close the door, I saw the blood on the door... it's not a lot but still gruesome. I remember what dad said and did to me. I start to tear up. I sit there... I wipe my tears and walk down. I walk done to see Tommy siping a coke cola.

"Hey Tommy..." he looks over and lowers the coke. "We can go." I say

We walk back to his house, and I put my stuff down in his room.

It's been a couple hours now... it's around 9 o'clock I go into the bathroom to change and Tommy stays in his room, he really owns only like 5 shirts.

I come back putting my old closes into my backpack.

And he sits at his computer to play some Minecraft and I just chill out on his bed scrolling through Twitter.

"Hey Toby?" He asks "yes what's up," I respond "... why do you think I said that stuff..." he turns his chair to look at me... it's 9:36 way too late for my brain to process things I don't wanna blurt out something.

"Uhh. The best way I could explain is... I hate myself. I don't think I'm enough, I think I'm a pawn for you. For money, just... "tubbo"... a character that controls your pay."

I start to tear up again the voice starts to talk "look at you, crying in front of your best friend, do you know how much you hurt him right now?" It echoed inside my head. I- I wasn't good enough.

"I-I'm such a cry baby so sorry Tommy..."

He turns off the pc walks over and sits me up to hug me, he has to bend down because of how tall he was. The floor boards creaking, the bed creaking, the silence, the tears, my sniffles, his breath, my breathing, the crickets outside of the windows, the wind batting against the curtains.

The breathing of us over powered every other sound though. Our breath started to match the same speed. It felt like at least one person was there for me.

Sorry for a short last chapter! 930 words