That Girl Who's Dying

5~ Truth

Thirty pairs of eyes stared at me as I entered the classroom.

Again? Why do people keep having to stare at me and whisper? I didn't get them.

Sitting straight up in my seat, I tried to focus. However, the fact that the two rows of students behind me were staring at my back prevented me from listening well enough.

"Kara, pay attention please." Ms Smith rapped on the whiteboard sharply. My head snapped up so fast, I heard my neck crack. "Yes, Ms Smith. Sorry." I cringed. She nodded, satisfied with my answer.

She continued on with the lesson, but I zoned out, instead thinking of what would happen if I died.

My parents would definitely cry.

Kai would probably stay silent but miss me.

My classmates would be happy for this weird girl to leave their midst.

Maybe Alice would silently mourn me.

"Kara!" Ms Smith came close to yelling. "Please, pay attention! Or I'll have to send you out of this class." I bit my lip, nodding embarrassedly. A couple of kids laughed, but most looked on sympathetically.

I hated them being sympathetic, especially since none of them knew pain like I did.

"KARA!" Ms Smith shouted. My eyes widened. I just realized that I had once again drifted off into space. "I know you have some difficulties concentrating, but this is too far! Get out, please." I didn't do anything, unsure of whether she meant it or not.

"Get. Out." She pointed a firm finger at the door of the classroom. Slowly getting up from my seat, I rushed outside.

I didn't let the tears fall.

"I'll speak with you later." With that, Ms Smith slammed the door in my face.

I leaned against the wall, ignoring the students that walked past me. This was the first time I had gotten sent out of class in forever.

I should've concentrated. At least made the effort. Now, mother will worry and her insomnia will start up again. Kai will be disappointed. Father will be mad.

"Kara?" With a start, I realised class had ended. Ms Smith was poking her head out of the doorway. "Come in, please. I would like to speak to you." Cringing, I followed her into the now-empty classroom.

Ms Smith sat down at the teacher's table, leaving me standing awkwardly in front of her. I clasped my hands together tightly. Beads of sweat worked their way down my forehead. "Kara." Ms Smith sighed. "What has gotten to you lately?" I stayed silent. "I know your cancer has been affecting you, but not like this." My eye twitched. This was the first time she had ever used the word cancer.

"I want you to trust me and answer this honestly." Ms Smith looked me straight in the eye. "Are you alright?" I stared back at her, not willing to answer. It was not until she beckoned me forward did I start sobbing.

"I'm sorry I lied. I don't have true friends. I'm probably going to die soon if I don't get a donation. My mother has insomnia, I have an older brother who loves me and I don't want to leave him alone, and I don't want anyone to worry or stare either, I just want to be normal." I sobbed, placing my head in my hands.

Ms Smith sighed, pulling me into a hug. "Why didn't you say sooner?" I were silent for a while, relaxing into her arms. It was a long time since my mother had hugged me.

"You know, if you ever need someone to talk to," Ms Smith smiled with tears in her eyes. "I'm here."

She squeezed me tight and we both cried our eyes out.

***

"Kara! Wanna join us?" Alice waved at me from her table that she shared with a few other girls. They smiled and waved as if we were all old friends.

Tentatively, I nodded and picked up my tray. I shuffled over to them nervously. Phoebe grinned. I forced a weak smile back. "Welcome to the group, Kara!" Haley smiled. I paused, letting the words sink in. I was part of their group now.

Letting a slow grin fill my face, I sat down at the table. They didn't seem nervous to be around me, which was good. I was tired of that feeling of misplacement.

"So," Alice pulled out her geography homework. "Who wants to finish this with me?"