The Unattainable

Introduction to My Life

I had been a member of this team for four years, and by being a member of this team, I meant I'd been a member of this family for four years. Being a member of Grissom's team meant that you were family; they took care of you. That may have been how I made it through. Whatever it was, I'd felt it today. The case had been simple; woman, mid-20s, strangled to death in her home and then raped. It'd gotten personal for me and the result was suspension. I really wasn't proud of slamming a suspect's head into the table so hard his nose broke.

Sigh.

I pulled the black collar shirt over my head before pulling the simple tank-top on. The suspension was for two days, and the only reason it wasn't longer was because the suspect hadn't sued, surprisingly enough. With a heavy breath, I stuffed the rest of my belongings into the small duffel at my side. Grabbing the leather jacket from the locker, I pulled it on, hearing the soft pop of my aching shoulders. I pulled the duffel with me as I walked out of the locker room, beginning my way to the door. I pulled the duffel on my shoulder, as I watched the lab technicians roll by as I walked. I'd screwed up, and it probably seemed like I didn't understand just how much, but I just refused to display knowledge of it. I was never the type to show something like that though.

Another sigh.

I paused by the breakout room, seeing my family gathered, drinking coffee and smiling and laughing. I leaned my hip against the frame, my head tilting to lean on it too as I smiled. Nick, Greg, and Warrick were seated at the end of the table and were laughing, most likely over some joke Warrick or Greg made. Catherine and Sara, with some surprise, were by the coffee pot, smiling and talking. Grissom, as usual, was just sitting by and watching with a smile. This was always nice, and it happened so often.

"Steph?" I abruptly snapped out of my reverie about the last time this happened when Nick said my name.

"Huh?" Okay, that was intelligent.

He gave me his signature, sweet smile, "We were, uh," He glanced over at Warrick, "Going to the diner for dinner. Wanna come?"

"I don't know.."

And I began to receive the "Come on, Steph!" from just about everyone in the room.

"Please? I won't go if you won't go, Stephanie." Catherine smiled, already knowing that this whole routine had worked over and over on me, and that it always would.

"Okay, okay." I gave in, which made a round of wolf whistles and cheers go around the room, with Nick and Warrick being the source of the wolf-whistles. Catherine came over, giving me a hug and a wink as she went to go grab her stuff, with Sara following, whom gave me a quick hug, already knowing of my suspension. Word traveled fast in the Crime Lab; it was just one of the "charms". I smiled. This was what I'd always wanted, but never been able to have.

"Thanks for comin'." Nick's voice, filled with his beautiful Texan accent, yet again broke through my reverie. I looked down, maintaining the smile on my lips.

"Yeah."

I shoved off the door frame with my hip as Nick gave me another welcoming smile as he began to walk towards the entrance. I fell into step beside him, still smiling so wide I thought my mouth might fall off.

"So." He said, breaking the silence.

"So, what?" I asked with a soft chuckle.

He glanced over at me, "Remember that guy? With the weird tattoos and, uh, spiky hair?"

"Yeah."

"I saw his nose. I didn't think it was possible, but he looked worse than before."

I laughed, "Oh really?"