Matters of Mind and Heart

them, my tears and I

All throughout my life, I imagined that my life will be a fairy tale or even a dark tale of good and bad.

I always hoped I would be able to experience everything I ever read about. The greatest of friendships, the fiercest of love, the wildest of adventures, rush and so much more. And hoped that maybe one day I will have someone that won't ask me to stop being silly but will hold me as I cry.

But soon, as a beaten-down teenager, I realized that might never happen. That my life might never get better or happy or even bearable. That I am too ordinary. That no one will ever understand my love for my characters that I read about or the connection I share with them. How will I ever explain this to anyone. I realized it was too much to ask for after all.

My mom still tries to convince me that it is a disease. I still try to hide my love for them. I still try not to cry.

And yet, after all this, I still can't help live all these lives. I can't help but fall in love with them, laugh with them and cry with them. I can't help but be heartbroken over them and for them.

Because deep down I knew that at the end of the day, it was just them, my tears and I.