Under a Broken Sky

Chapter Two

My sweetest dreams and scariest nightmares are one in the same.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I was shaking as I stood there. An answer was expected from me. I looked to my family, who were silent. I think they knew what was going through my head. I glanced to my friends who were waiting their turn. Nothing. I finally looked to Garth. In that moment, I knew what my choice would be.

"I choose to leave."

My voice sounded foreign to my own ears. The quivering in my body didn't make it out of my mouth, thankfully. The murmurs came back, as they had with Garth, and I moved to stand by his side.

Time slowed as I listened to the rest of the names. Words blurred together. Faces melded and became one. I saw nothing, yet it felt like I saw everything. All of the things I had planned to do were gone, out the window. I wanted to do so much with my life, but I threw it away.

Eventually we were dismissed. There was one other who had chosen to leave, a quiet boy whose name I didn't know. Tomorrow the three of us would be ushered to the border of our city and left there. It was tradition, or so we heard, that the ones who left would start out together. As far as anyone knew, they never stayed that way for long. People split off. Sometimes they went to find another place to call home. The less fortunate never made it past the first week or two.

One thing was granted before then. We each had one last night to spend with our families or friends, doing whatever we want to do before we leave for good. It wasn't true that we could only take our knowledge. Whatever bags we owned and wanted to fill we could, but I knew I wouldn't want too much. I'd have to carry it for as long as I wandered.

I went straight home without meeting my family. I knew they'd meet me there eventually, once they processed what happened. The guilt already gnawed at my core. I don't know why I was so set on following Garth. For all I knew he was a completely different person than how I perceived. Maybe he was set on a suicide mission. Maybe he wanted to leave and just end himself in the unknown without being a burden to his family. Essentially, that's what I was doing.

In my room, I found my large backpack. I threw it on my bed. I started tearing through my drawers, throwing a few shirts and other clothing necessities next to my bag. I found my toothbrush and the like and added it to the pile. Next went the beautiful pen I was given by Garth and a couple blank, bound notebooks. I frowned, trying to think what else might fit. I took a couple pictures of my sister and my parents, then a small stuffed toy Malie gave me.

In the main hall, I heard my family return. Shoes were taken off and thrown in a pile. My father's heavy footsteps echoed as he went to the kitchen. My mother's steps were quieter, but I could sense her nervousness. Malie barely made any noise, so I could only assume she was coming up the carpeted stairs to meet me.

I focused on packing my bag, throwing in a few typical emergency supplies like a first aid kit, a flashlight and extra batteries, and the pocket knife I used to carry. That's when I heard my door open with a familiar squeak. I looked over, and I saw Malie.

"Sis?" she asked, trying to be unimposing.

I waved my hand, ushering her into my room. I didn't know what to say, so I settled for something standard. "Hey, Malie. I'm proud of you."

She shifted nervously, twisting her foot into the carpet. Something was on her mind, and I suspected it had to do with the obvious. I hated the position I put her in. She was about to start her new life as an almost-adult, and I was abandoning her for some guy, just like I had warned her against doing. I knew it was too late to change my mind. No one ever had that choice, not when it was this severe.