Distraction

The consequences

The hotel bar was half empty as the evening was only starting to slowly turn into the night. The mild brownish light was penetrating through the glass of her martini, deceiving the viewer with the color of it and making her think that the drink wasn't strong enough. The evening wasn't enough and nothing around was enough either. Since that night with him, everything seemed not enough and there was something ironic to it.

It was a few days after she left Marshall's room without saying goodbye and she was sitting at the bar stool waiting for her "beloved one" to come and tell her all the lies in the world to make peace. Robyn didn't really know why she agreed to face him after what he did. Perhaps, it was just to look him in the eye. Perhaps, to slap him hard to give that asshole at least one small portion of pain she'd been feeling since she'd found out the truth. Perhaps, she just didn't know what to do.

She wasn't feeling herself that evening. Something was wrong, even though her outfit was flawless: a red satin dress, short with a high cut on the side, revealing the smooth skin of her left thigh. The skin he was touching so tenderly and eagerly that night.

Oh yeah, it definitely didn't leave her mind. Replaying the morning after in her head, again and again, Robyn couldn't get rid of the horrible feeling inside her chest. The feeling that was making her doubt everything she so decisively believed in. I wasn't right about lying to you that night, was I?

Looking at the liquid of her martini, she remembered that morning vividly for the hundredth time. Every fucking detail.

She recalled waking up from having a bad dream. It made her open her eyes to see the sunrise revealing its arrival between the giant skyscrapers of New York City, feeling an urge to go back to sleep again and pretend that she didn't notice. It wasn't just a regular sunrise. For Robyn, that morning it was an alarm to leave.

But it wasn't that easy. On the bed, she woke up to the unavoidable presence of him and his hands carefully wrapped around her waist, toned chest guarding her spine against behind. She could feel his calm and soothing breath somewhere on her neck and, genuinely speaking, it was the last thing she wanted to throw away and pretend like it never happened. So she closed her eyes, letting herself a weakness. Tell me, why does it feel so good when I have to leave?

She didn't have to remember anything from last night. The indescribable feeling of it was now a part of her body as she felt a pleasant heaviness of it on the cloud-like sheets. His arms were tight around her and she wanted to keep that in her memory before leaving. The touch of his body next to her seemed so right and yet so unfamiliar. Because how was it even possible for you to be so passionate and gentle with me at the same time?

The idea of staying lingered in her mind, listening to the quiet and measured sound of his heart beating. But it was too late to change the decision. She lied and the wake up together would've been not the way it should've been. She couldn't have proved something that wasn't true. But fuck, he didn't deserve it.

The obsessive thoughts were making her feel bad and that wasn't something she expected from the one-night stand. Perhaps, she had to pick someone in the club as she planned to and everything would've been way easier. But at the same time, Robyn knew that she didn't want anyone just like she wanted Marshall. So? The lie was worth it?

Forcing herself to get up, she carefully removed his arm around her waist and begged the Lord not to wake him up. As she sat up on the bed, Marshall was peacefully sleeping with a little furrowed brows as if judging her for what she was about to do. Watching his defined, sharp features in the grey light of the early morning, she suddenly felt scared at the thought of his glance. Those blue eyes would've eventually found out everything and she wasn't ready to handle it.