Distraction

You

'Riri, I've seen you going here all upset. May I come in?'

When she saw Sally's expression at the door, the darkness of the suite was disturbed by the ray of white light from the hallway, making her feel a sense of irritation and relief at once. Robyn didn't want to be alone that minute but she didn't want to be asked any annoying questions too. Sally was always a good assistant for her but that night her thoughts and heart were way above her hotel floor. Where he was with that woman.

'I'm fine, don't turn on the light. Did you want anything?' Robyn answered in a weak quiet voice. Her red satin dress suddenly felt unnecessary as well as any detail of her makeup but she had no desire to take it off. It's funny but it all doesn't matter without you...

'I know it's not my business' Sally pronounced sheepishly which was really a part of her nature and stepped into the room, closing the door. Her features barely seen in the furnishing of the suite. 'But I've been watching you these days and I thought that something is wrong. Is it because of the asshole that cheated on you?'

Sally asked that so easily and bluntly that at first, Robyn felt taken aback. They never had that type of relationship to talk about those kinds of things, just the employer and the worker. But for some reason, Robyn felt an urge to answer.

'No' she said dryly, recalling the pathetic face of her ex in her mind for a moment, and raising her glance at Sally. No, there was no need to cry for him now. He simply didn't deserve it.

'But I've made the biggest mistake, leaving someone who could've loved me if I'd wanted to'.

She felt something fatal, pronouncing it, maybe for the first time saying that aloud since the past few days. A terrible feeling painfully prominent in her chest, making it hard to talk. Come on, Robyn, it's your fault. You are a big girl, no need to cry about it.

'It's Marshall, isn't it?' Sally's reaction was soft and understanding, something Robyn didn't expect to hear. Perhaps, it was too obvious for everyone now, wasn't it?

'Yes,' Robyn nodded barely and felt almost a physical ache after hearing his name, the picture of him and that woman in a hotel lobby blinding her sight. For God's sake, how could it all happen for me within a few days? Or maybe, you were always special to me and now I'm too late?

'I hurt him. Lied when he specifically asked not to' she continued, staring in front of herself into the darkness. The devastating sadness wrapping around her fully. 'I knew he would've never forgiven me. I knew he'd been hurt that way so many times before. I knew he was the only man who treated me like I meant something but still did everything I did' Robyn swallowed bitterly, shaking her head to the sides as if not believing her actions. She didn't expect to say so much but perhaps, nobody had ever asked her about such things and she forgot how much she needed to be heard. All the emotions and pain from the last few days spilling in the darkness between her and her assistant.

'And now I'm fucked up, Sally. He's floors away in this building with another woman'.

The words stuck at her throat and she felt a tear slowly making its way down her cheek unwillingly, without her permission. It felt like she couldn't bear that night, couldn't bear to be heartbroken anymore. Yes, this time it was all her fair punishment. But for how long had she been so unhappy now? For too long, except that night. Marshall, I felt loved for only one night, imagine?

'But you said that he would've loved you if you wanted to' Sally spoke after a small pause carefully, sympathy prominent but not strong in her voice. 'Did you try to tell him that you want it?'

'It won't work, he won't believe it. I'm a liar, a thief, Sally. A thief who takes what he wants and runs away. How can he believe me?' she pronounced helplessly, lowering her head in frustration, feeling that the conversation was becoming too hard to handle. Maybe, it was a bad idea to let Sally in.