Hold My Hand | Harry Styles OU

Part 5

"You're going to have to say something to him." Alison says. We are sitting in the living room with an episode of Gilmore Girls playing in the background. I sent her a message as soon as I saw the notification from Instagram that Harry followed me. She came home from work with a pint of ice cream for the both of us and a promise to not pry. Half a pint of ice cream gone, I spilled it all to her - the girl coming up to me, how I was wearing his hoodie without thinking twice and the butterflies whenever he's near me.

"I know, it's just that I don't want to overcomplicate things, it's my fault I wore the hoodie without thinking."

"You need to stop blaming yourself, do you know how many people are commemorating their mutual love for Randy's donuts? Hundreds if not thousands, you just happen to be the only one who has a popstar falling for you," Alison states, her facial expression filled with genuine concern.

I take a deep breath in and out before I reply, "he's not falling for me and I hate that you say that."

She mumbles a sorry before shifting her focus back to the TV.

She is trying to make me feel better but it's not working. Alison knows that relationships formed at work is a no for me because it's the reason I left the accounting job. I hated myself for who it turned me into and I wasn't going to let the same thing happen with Harry. I am going to go in there on Monday morning and tell him what happened and leave it at that. If I let it fester and eat away at me I will turn into Sofia a few years ago and I don't want that.

&&

"Harry... I want to talk to you if you have a second?" I say as I walk into the kitchen - Mitch, Kid and Tyler taking it as a cue to continue out of the room.

"Is everything alright?"

"You followed me on Instagram?" I ask treading along the conversation not trying to alarm him.

"I... uh, is there something wrong with that?"

"A young girl came up to me the other day and I think they recognized me from your following list and they asked me if they knew who you were and I didn't think anything of it but then I got home and I realized I still had this," I pull out his Randy's donuts hoodie from my tote.

"Sofia..." I can see the happiness disappear from his face before he continues on, "if I knew that would happen I wouldn't have been so..." he takes a minute to find the word, his eyes looking everywhere in the room but mine, his fingers working overtime in spinning his silver ring around round and round. It feels like an hour has gone by before he finds my gaze and says it, "selfish, I just feel so selfish."

I let his response take a seat in the room with us. It's a unique experience having a tiff with someone you aren't seeing in a romantic capacity and I know the reason why this is a tiff and so does Harry, neither of us can conceptualize the words just yet. I look up at him and he is still pulling his rings up and down each finger while twisting his knuckles in the process.

"It's not selfish to follow your friends Harry," I reach for his hands and do the fidgeting for him as he focuses up on me and not his rings.

"What did she say?"

"Just that, asked if I knew you. I said no... you're not the only person in Los Angeles with a Randy's Donuts hoodie." I remember the words that Alison said the night this all went down. Neither Harry or I should be blaming ourselves for the actions of other people.

"Probably the only one whose social activity gets watched."

I allow room for a pause again. I know how it feels to have comfort quickly turn into condoling and I don't want him to think that.