The next couple days passed in a creative frenzy. My pen was on fire and several songs came together better than I expected. I was back on track to release the new album on time and it felt great.
I went straight to the studio, not even dumping my backpack in my office. I'd been up early writing and wanted to put it to a beat I'd heard awhile ago. In my head they paired perfectly together.
"Hey," Tyrese said, glancing up as I came in and slipping his phone into his pocket.
"Yo. Where's that Royce beat that goes like –" and I beat boxed the rhythm.
Tyrese turned to the archive, searching. "Got it," he said after a minute.
"Play it," I ordered
As the music filled the room, my head bobbed in time. It was just as I remembered. The lyrics I'd written this morning rode the beat perfectly.
"Set it up," I said pulling my notebook out and heading towards the booth. "I wanna record to it."
"Shit man," Tyrese smiled when I finished. "That was straight fire!"
He played it back for me and I nodded. It needed a bit of fine-tuning, but it was good.
"Wanna keep going with this one?" he asked.
"Nah. Let's let it breath for a bit. I just needed to get it out," I said, flipping through my notebook to see what I wanted to work on next.
"Sure," he said, preparing to save it. "What are we calling it?"
"Let's go with 'Skeletons' for now," I said, not looking up from my notebook.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tyrese nod as his phone dinged and he snatched it up, answering a text quickly.
"Let's work on 'Nowhere to Go,'" I said and leaned back in my chair while Tyrese cued it up.
As I watched him, I wondered about the leak investigation. It was best left to Paul. I was about as subtle as the incredible hulk at a tea party.
"Yo, what do you know about Jared?" I asked.
Tyrese looked up, frowning. "Jared? He's alright. Quiet, but knows his stuff."
"Yeah. Just wondered if he talked to others more than me," I said. "Like does he have a girlfriend? Does he like video games, what?"
"As far as I know, he doesn't have a girl," Tyrese shrugged. "And he spends his weekends watching movies. Dude's seen pretty much everything."
"That's why he's always quoting lines and shit," I said, putting it together.
"Yeah," Tyrese said. "You seem like you're in a better mood lately. Any reason?"
I shrugged. "Just feel like things are finally going my way."
"You ready?" he asked, waving towards the soundboard.
My buzzed with a text from Nat. "In a minute," I said to Tyrese and read the text.
N: Kids and I miss U. Come for dinner tonight?
My heart hurt. I wanted to say yes, but studied the text first. There was nothing sexual about it. Just a family invitation. Maybe she'd finally accepted that our relationship was done? She was proposing a normal activity aimed at moving forward as friends? I tapped out a reply.
M: what time?
N: 6:00
M: C u then
The afternoon was productive and I felt confident that I now had eight songs that could go on an album, possibly ten. Throughout the process, I was never sure what the final album would look like. It depended on which finished songs fit together best as a whole and that we'd gotten sample clearance for. Until then, I was forever swapping songs out as I made new ones, trying to come up with the best track list. But I felt solid about the eight I had in mind.
Leaving the studio at 5:00, I drove to Natalie's house. I was a little apprehensive about dinner, but hoping for the best. Maybe we could make this work and be friends.
"Hey," Nat smiled, opening the door and stepping back for me to enter.
"Hi," I said. "Smells good in here."
"Come into the kitchen," she said, leading the way.
I followed her and settled on a bar stool next to her youngest son Levi.
"Hi Marshall!" he grinned as Nat began making gravy at the stove.
"Hey," I said, giving him a quick hug. "Whatcha working on?"
"Homework," he sighed.
"Good luck with that."
We chatted about his school friends while Natalie moved around getting dinner ready. My eyes darting between her and Levi. She was stunning. Long dark hair and supermodel body. I ran my tongue over my lips as remembered how flexible that body could be.
As food was placed on the table, the older kids rushed in, still wearing their coast and backpacks, and bedlam erupted. Mason was 14 and Emma was 11.
"Marshall! You're here!" they shouted, throwing themselves at me for hugs.
"Okay," Nat yelled, clapping her hands for attention. "Wash up and let's eat."
Once all seated at the table, we dug in.
After dinner, the kids' dad arrived to pick them up for the rest of the week. He waited outside in the car as the kids assembled with bags in the front hall.
"Great seeing you again man," Mason said, bumping fists with me. I pulled him in for a hug. Emma and Levi piled on too.
Outside a horn honked.
"Where's my hug?" Nat asked and the kids let go of me and hurried to their mom.
Then in a chorus of goodbyes and be goods, they headed out the door. Nat and I looked at each other in the sudden silence.
"That was great," I said. "Thanks for inviting me."
"You're always welcome," Nat shrugged. "They miss you."
"I miss them too," I said, a lump in my throat. "It's been tough."
"Yes it has," Nat said softly. "For all of us."
"Yeah," I said, clearing my throat and glancing at the door. "Uh, I guess I should go."
"Or you could stay. Watch a movie with me," Nat suggested. "Up to you."
She walked to the tv room, leaving me standing in the front hall. I knew what I wanted to do, I just wasn't sure it was the best thing. After a moment, I followed her.
Settling on the other end of the couch, I put my feet up and looked over at Nat. "So what're we watching?"
She had an action movie in mind and put it on.
After about 15 minutes, Nat stood. "I'm going to grab a drink. Want anything?"
"Yeah, a diet coke would be great. Thanks," I said, focused on the movie.
She crossed in front of the TV and my eyes followed as she walked to the kitchen. Damn. Tall and thin with impressive tits, Nat could have been a model.
Nat returned with two glasses and passed one to me, her fingers brushing mine. Then she settled closer on the couch than before. I was starting to get a bad feeling about this.
The gritty action sequences in the movie halted as the two lead characters who hated each other engaged in angry sex. Explicit sex. I took a long swallow of the cold beverage, as I felt my dick stir. Shifting uncomfortably, I glanced away from the TV. This wasn't good.
"Are you okay?" Nat asked, placing a hand on my thigh. Her hand felt firm and warm and way too good. I needed it off my leg.
"Fine," I said, grabbing her hand to move away. But she curled her fingers into mine and we wound up holding hands. Fuck!
I'd wanted to keep this friendly, without getting too friendly. Now I was holding her hand and watching sex that was close to full-on porn.
"Nat ..." I said turning to her.
She leaned forward and bit my lower lip. Without thinking, my body reacted. Slamming my lips on hers, my hands found her breasts. Nat moaned as she rubbed my dick through my sweatpants. Everything felt familiar and so good. She tugged my pants down, freeing my cock.
"Nat, stop. We can't ..."
On her knees between my legs, mouth inches from my dick, she looked up at me. "Why?"
I struggled to remember why this wasn't a good idea. Then her mouth was on me and I stopped thinking.
Her smell, her taste, her touch were all familiar as clothes were shed and I ran my hands over her perfect body. Nat stood and bent from the waist, grabbing her ankles. Moving behind, I slid inside her pussy and groaned. Thrusting in this tight stance was heaven.
"Wait," she said and I stopped.
My eyes felt like they would pop out as Nat raised one leg, resting it along my chest. Essentially doing the splits against the front of me. This angle was beyond amazing and I had to remind myself to be gentle with her as my orgasm built. Nat's cry as she came pushed me over the edge.
As we lay panting on the couch, she ran a hand down my chest.
"I missed you baby," she whispered.
As the sexual desire faded, the reality of what I'd just done descend. Fuck!
"Bathroom," I grunted, shifting Nat off me and standing. Grabbing my boxers, I tugged them on as I went.
Standing in front of the mirror, I rubbed my hands over my face then addressed my reflection. Okay, so we had sex. Maybe it wasn't a big deal. Exes had sex all the time. Could be Nat didn't want to get back together. Dream on. Nothing was farther from the truth. She'd been pushing to get back together for weeks.
Okay, so what if we got back together? We clearly had sexual chemistry to spare. I loved her kids and missed them like crazy. Yeah, she was jealous and a bit insecure. That had led to her cheating once. But she swore it would never happen again and I'd forgiven worse. Maybe we could give things another try?
After a couple more minutes of convincing myself this could work, I opened the bathroom door and walked back to the tv room. Standing in the doorway, I saw Nat hunched over my sweatpants, going through my phone.
"What are you doing?"
She looked up startled, then smiled. "I was just ... checking to see if you have next Saturday free. Thought maybe we could take the kids out."
She was lying. I could see from here she was going through my texts, not my calendar. All the suspicions, accusations and fights came flooding back. I couldn't do this again.
Crossing the room, I grabbed my sweatpants and held out my hand for the phone. She handed it over and looked up at me. Her brown eyes were wide and watery.
"I'm sorry."
"I gotta go," I said, pulling on the sweatpants and slipping my phone into the pocket. Looking around, I spotted my shirt.
"No! Don't go. Spend the night," Nat begged.
I sighed, tugging the shirt over my head. "I'm sorry Nat. This was a mistake."
"How can you say that?" she cried, her voice getting shrill. "It was good! We're so good together!"
"Yeah but it doesn't work! It's always the same shit over and over. I can't do this anymore!"
Grabbing my remaining stuff, I left as Nat screamed and cried. Fuck I was an asshole.
