Leeway // Joe Mazzello

23|| "The Beginning and the End"

Octavia's guide to the hell that is the English Language

TOXIC
/ˈtäksik/

(adj.) very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way.

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You're toxic I'm slippin' under

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TW:: mentions of drugs and assault

Octavia calmly knocked on the door to where Joe was staying. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, not making eye contact with the door. It took several seconds to hear any noise from inside but eventually she heard hesitant footsteps. The door never opened, but she could feel the presence of another person on the other side.

"Joe?" She asked in a hushed voice.

No answer.

"Joe?" She asked again.

Again, no answer.

"I know you're there." She turned around and sat down, back against the wall. "If you won't answer me I guess I'll just talk to myself."

She took a deep breath.

"Amelia is a bitch. She set me up again, she always does this. I'm surprised I didn't see it earlier. This whole situation with Christian, it's like déjà vu, I'm just reliving what's already happened.

There was this boy, his name was Ethan. Amelia had met him at a party, she said he was gorgeous. He had cropped brown hair and silver brooding eyes. He could read people like a book. She introduced him to me the summer of my Junior year. I instantly just melted for him, I mean, who wouldn't?

But eventually, things didn't start making sense. All we did was party, I was drunk 24/7 but you've already heard that story. Amelia had grown... distant. The more time I spent with Ethan the less I saw of her. When I asked her about it, she told me she was upset that all I did was spend time with Ethan and maybe I should chill out, but I didn't want to, I loved him. Or I thought I did. She told me he wasn't worth it, but she was the one who introduced me to him. We got into a huge fight about it, and then she just left. But it was weird, the last thing she said to me was 'Be careful and watch how he acts around you'.

I was going to be a Junior, he was a Senior. We figured we would only ever see each other on weekends, so we spent as much time together as possible. He treated me like a princess, but the closer it got to school starting, he changed. He became... apathetic almost. We were spending more and more time with his friends, and they didn't seem to really like me. I was already spiraling due to... Rhiannon... and he knew that, and then he abused that. He treated he like a party trick, like 'look how drunk she can get'. And then one day I just wasn't getting drunk enough for his entertainment.

I was more noticeably drunker than the others one night, and then I woke up with the most disorienting headache. I was dizzy and almost unconscious. I was taken to the doctor where I was inevitably drug tested.

Ethan had been drugging my drinks for some sort of party entertainment. He never did anything else, but the more I thought about it, I could be dead right now. I immediately cut all contact with him and haltered my schooling, ya know, took a 'gap year' is what the administration called it. But the worst thing is, is that Amelia knew about it. She set me up purposely with him so I could just come running back to her, heartbroken. She knew he was a terrible person and she still set me up with him. And I actually forgave her because she would tell me she would help me.